Look Me In The Eyes
by carebearsmiles
Summary: I will probably consider making this a full length story if it is requested. I am open to a beta on this if someone wants to help me with this one! I am rich, so what? Just a typical story for everyone! A nice story with Jace and Clary with some friendly drama in between. Enjoy! - complete
1. Chapter 1

**I will probably consider making this a full-length story if it is requested. I am open to a beta on this if someone wants to help me with this one!**

 **I am rich, so what? I have followers, no biggy. I am beautiful, yawn. I get my way and that's just the way things work, until it isn't.**

 **Enjoy something a little different, I fell in love with this idea the second I thought of it. Clace, Sizzy, Malec, the usual, enjoy! This story will be rated m, for all the fun stuff. Feel free to drop some ideas, they are always welcome.**

Chapter 1

Maybe I like it when people look at me - that little rush of confidence that runs through me when people say my name every five minutes. That's just me, I love being loved. I love being the it-girl, most beautiful, confident, charming young lady that I have made myself out to be. Here's the thing, my parents have this kind of "total trust" in me so I pretty much do whatever I want, they only ask that I keep my cell phone on me at all times. They're work takes them out of the city all of the time anyways, so I have pretty much spent the last two years of high school on my own, my friends, and Netflix. That's how I keep my image so clean, I don't actually get myself into that much trouble.

So, in case you were wondering, I am in fact, watching reruns of Pretty Little Liars on Netflix with the biggest bowl of popcorn that I could manage to make. I feel like I don't have enough drama in my life so I watch this crap to make me feel good about myself. _At least I have never been arrested,_ I smirk to myself as this episode ends with a cliff hanger.

I roll my eyes at my lack of productiveness and take a bathroom break. By the time I get back to my blanket at chair, my phone has received 10 messages. _I hate group chats_.

 **Izzy: My brothers want to do a party tonight, everyone in?**

 **Maia: Iz, it's like already 3pm.**

 **Jordan: We're in**

 **Maia: Pick me up please?**

 **Jordan: Be there in an hour**

 **Izzy: Perfect**

 **Simon: Yeah, I'll pick up Clary on my way in**

 **Johnathon: Has she left the couch at all today?**

 **Simon: No**

 **Me: What the hell guys? I had a date with Netflix tonight**

 **Johnathon: Loner**

 **Me: Jerk**

 **Johnathon: Loser**

 **Izzy: GUYS - YOU ARE IN THE SAME HOUSE**

 **Johnathon: Actually, I am with Sebastian right now, his phone is dead, but we're in**

 **Magnus: I'll be there**

 **Johnathon: Seb wants to know if he can bring his cousin, Aline is in town and wants to come**

 **Izzy: More the merrier**

 **Johnathon: K**

I shut my phone off and tell Simon to give me 30 minutes. I dry shampoo my hair, and perfume myself until I stop smelling like a caveman that has been watching Netflix for three days straight. My choice of a party outfit consists of ripped faded skinny jeans, a red sequined tank top that passes for a crop top, and high healed black ankle boots. My hair goes up in a loose bun because I haven't actually brushed it lately and put some makeup on my face. By the time I am done, I look like a presentable human being, and less like a dinosaur.

 **Simon: I'm outside** my phone reads when I pick it up from the center of my bed. I walk through the multiple hallways and a staircase it takes me to reach the front door and meet Simon in the driveway. I drop him a grin as I slide into the passenger side of his car.

"Looking good for a girl who just broke up with Netflix for the rest of the summer," Simon says grinning back to me before we take off down the road.

"No one said anything about breaking up with Netflix, I still have one more week on that relationship," I retorted. We both laugh a little at my lame attempt for a joke. By the time I can find a good song on the radio, we are parked outside of the Lightwood house - more like mansion but whatever.

"Are you ready for this?" Simon asks me while he gets my door for me.

"Watch me," I stated simply taking his hand to guide myself up from the car, and into the house.

Walking into the Lightwood house is like stepping into an episode of Dream Homes. The second my boots hit the inside of the house, Izzy was there to greet me like the best friend that she is.

"Are we the last ones here?" I asked returning her hug. She had to keep her shoulders back because of the low cut, V-neck, way too short dress that she's wearing. "Dress to impress, I can't agree more, it looks perfect on you," I complimented her.

"As well as you, darling," she said in return. "The boys are all out back, they made it here like 10 minutes ago. They are waiting on the alcohol from Magnus and Alec to get here. I don't know how they managed it, but they did."

Looking around the room, there looks to be about 20 other people here that I have only seen a few times from school. I get a chorus of "Hey Clary," as I walk through the room to get to the outside. I notice Johnathon sitting on a bench next to Jace and Sebastian, with a group of girls barely covered by their bikinis standing in front of them.

"They look like they are begging at their feet for scraps," I scowl as Simon meets me at the back door. Johnathon waves to me and I take the invitation.

"Now, now," I say breaking up the group of girls. "I heard one of these _fine_ gentlemen would love a date for this Saturday night. First one to get plastered wins." I barely finish my snarky and false promise to them before they go running inside to find some alcohol to smash.

"Well that wasn't nice," I hear from behind me.

"Oh," I say in mock innocence, "you didn't invite me over here to get rid of the whores for you? My bad, I'll let you catch an STD next time." By the end of my sarcastic remark, I am grinning from ear to ear. Johnathon and Jace give each other that look, they've always shared that look when they were planning something. For a moment, I almost regret what I did, but not quite because I know they'll thank me later.

Before I can catch a proper footing, I am tripping over Johnathon's foot and being caught by Jace. These two have always been awful to me, it's like having two older brothers and not wanting either one of them.

I am thrown in the pool before I can even protest being lifted in the air. I never let go of Jace's shoulders so he came tumbling in after me like a sack of potatoes.

"Do you know how unattractive you looked falling in after me?" I said rubbing water out of my eyes. Jace gave me a look for a second before returning to his regularly scheduled arrogance. An arrogance that actually rivaled my own.

"Oh sweetheart," he said in a low and husky voice. It actually threw me off my game for a split second to hear him talk to me like that. "Nothing I do is unattractive." He stands just a few inches from me but I don't let him get to me.

"There's a first for everything," I said sounding equally as seducing. His eyes flicked to my tank top momentarily and I took advantage of the moment to tease him. "Looks like I'm soaked through, I'll have to take it off now," I barely whispered as I walked by him to the pool steps. I looked back at him for a split second to see his eyes fixed on me like I completely dumbfounded him. I took my shirt by its hem and looked him dead in the eye. A moment later I gave him a devil's smirk and lifted it over my head, slowly at first and then let it fall to the ground with grace. His eyes were glued to my bikini top, which has a sweetheart neckline and is royal blue with a lacy finish. Izzy helped me pick it out at the beginning of summer.

Jonathon threw a plastic noodle at him to get his attention which has been fixed on me since my comment he didn't see coming. He hoped out of the pool and deliberately stood facing me so Johnathon and Seb had their backs to me while they laughed about something, probably me. The idea of them laughing at me made me want to make them suffer but I settled for a cocky grin at Jace instead.

He held my eye contact for just a moment too long before he did what every other girl in a two-mile radius has been waiting for, he took off his shirt. As the girls started to stare and eyes started roaming over him it made me a little angry that he took all of the attention like that. As if on cue Johnathon and Seb followed and the shirts got thrown into a pile. If these girls had it their way, those shirts will end up burned so they can't put them back on for the rest of the night.

The three of them walked right where I stood with Simon and that's when I saw it, I wasn't sure at first but it was there. Jace Herondale licked his lips at me. The thought made me want to punch him, more correctly, Johnathon want to punch him. By the death stare he just sent Jace, I wasn't the only one who noticed his little attempt at flirting with me.

Jace put his hands up in surrender to my brother who shook it off the moment a blonde walked up practically wearing nothing to cover herself with. Behind her came three others exactly like her. Jace put his hand out to one who took it too fast and greedily. _Now I really feel like vomiting_.

"Clary," I hear as a pair of fingers snap in front of my face. I focus my attention to Simon who has his hand out for me to follow him. "Izzy said that Alec and Magnus are back with the alcohol, it's time for beer pong."

I took my place at the table where cups were being filled with beer and probably being spiked with some kind of other drink. I waited for my usual partner to take his place beside me.

"Who are we playing this time," I hear from beside me. I look to my left and see Jordan grinning from ear to ear as Jace and Johnathon are the ones to step up to the other side. There's a massive crowd now gathering around the table as if this was some kind of Olympic tryout or something.

All the while, I can't take my eyes off the blonde hanging off his arm. I force myself to look away but they manage to keep traveling back to the pair of arms that held me in the water just a few moments ago.

"These guys can't win Jacey," I heard from the chick's mouth. I was about ready to let myself fall to the floor with laughter before I heard. "If you win this, I'll have a surprise waiting for you upstairs." My entire body felt like it was just drained of all motivation and I felt like going to bed now. The only thing that kept me going was the challenging look in Jace's face, and my own stubbornness that wants him to lose so he can't have that one-night stand if I win.

"Game on."


	2. Chapter 2

**I have another chapter completed, and I am extremely excited about it. This is a story that has been rattling in brain forever and I wouldn't mind continuing it as long as you guys want me too.**

 **Just a reminder, this story, just as the rest of my stories, have sexual content and vulgar language. So, don't read it if you're going to be offended, because I will not change the way I write my stories. Thank you :) and happy reading.**

 **Don't forget to R and R, if you want me to keep going. Sorry for the cliff hanger, but it seems like I have run out of time for today. ENJOY**

 **Chapter 2 - Jace POV**

The second that I felt that pool noodle hit my head, I knew I was a goner. The sudden force to my face brought me out of a fantasy I DEFINITELY should not have been having. I saw the glare Jon was giving me and I panicked. He only turned away when there was a new barbie girl standing in front of him begging for attention. I felt the after effect of my interrupted fantasy and was glad that I was standing in the pool. I put the pool noodle in between my legs to hide the fact that I was the new proud owner of a raging boner.

 _All of these barbies falling at my feet have no effect on me, but one fantasy of Clary has me in pain._

I bet you would all enjoy this little fantasy of mine so much that I am going to replay it in my head just one more time.

 _"Looks like I am soaked through," she had said._

" _You haven't been soaked until you give me a proper chance," I almost said out loud. It took everything in my power to remember her older brother and my best friend standing five feet to my right._

 _"I'll have to take it off now," she finished._

 _"Allow me," I instantly thought. I cursed my internal teenage hormones until she grabbed the hem of her shirt and started lifting._

 _Of course, I have watched her take off a shirt before, we've been to like a million of things with each other. Well not - WITH each other - fuck it - you know what I mean. But here she is lifting the hem up just passed her lower rib cage, and that fresh summer tan looks absolutely delicious._

 _I bet that skin would feel incredible under my fingertips, moving and tingling under my every command. Then she smiles that smile at me, that shit eating, plump - lipped, vulgar, virgin mouth of hers. Shit. That virgin mouth could do incredible things to me._

 _Her shirt is over her head now and I notice one thing, I'm a teenage boy I can't help it. She has boobs, I'd even say a solid C cup. I can't even for the life of me figure out when those came in but I am thanking god right now that they did. That royal blue bikini top would look better on my floor._

 _The pool noodle hit me in the face and I had to pry my eyes off of her to focus on the person who threw it; but when I saw it was Jon, I knew I was fucked. He saw through me and he knows I thought of his sister like that. That look in his eyes, it's the same look we gave the last boy we scared off from asking out Clary, and here I am, on the other end of that murderous, "we will be talking about this later", "How dare you even", look._

I noticed people started to stare at us, probably expecting there to be a fight breaking out or some shit. I got out of the pool and met Jon and Seb at the edge of the pool, the barbie girl had already been dismissed. His glare replaced by a playful smile but the look in his eyes says differently. Seb starts off by laughing at getting myself thrown in after Clary and Jon follows suit.

I catch her eyes on mine for a second, no longer than a second, and I involuntarily lick my bottom lip. Cursing myself at the sudden loss of control, I replace my facial expressions with my playboy smile. She walks away with Simon and before I know it, Jon is slapping my chest and death glaring me again.

"You done fucked up this time, man," Seb says taking a step back. I put my hands up in surrender to John's hit and make a shitty attempt to play it off.

Before I know it, there is a group of barbie girls in front of us with their boobs pushed way too far up and their makeup way too dark.

"About Saturday," she begins and I mentally slap myself for letting Clary make that suggestion to the girls earlier. I put my hand out to her because she's hot and will more than likely get rid of my traitorous thoughts about my best friend's little sister. Putting on an award-winning smile for her, she stands up straighter and puffs her chest out further.

"Sorry baby doll," I say quietly, "That will have to be another time. My friend didn't know it but that day just won't work out." She gave me a pouty face which I immediately shrugged off. "But if you want to score, I am sure Seb over there will have some time for you."

She gave me a knowing smile and leaned in to whisper in my ear. "I can be your arm candy tonight, baby," she said trying to sound sexy. Really, she sounded like a strangled raccoon. "At least until later tonight."

I lead her inside to where two rows of shots were being lined up. Some are being filled with beer and others being made into shots of whisky. _They know me too well, I smirk._

I see Clary on the other side of me taking her stand and giving me an unreadable glare. The glare sinks itself in me and I feel like I could punch whoever pissed her off. I know that it's always been my instinct to protect her but never has it been this bad.

Usually we live for these games but this seems different, almost like she's not the same right now. She looks to my left and makes eye contact with her brother instead for a split second before looking to my right. Her face turns down when she stares at the blonde bimbo begging for my attention for the night and even looks like she was going to be sick for a moment. I hear people gathering around the table because this is a huge deal to people to see who wins this time. I finally notice that Jordan is standing next to her, her regular drinking buddy and a friend of mine from school. I give him a nod which he returns and then says something quietly to Clary, she nods her head and I can see her mind going into focus. _Something isn't right with her._

The first shot is taken and Clary and Jon start throwing back drinks. Usually, Jon is in the lead right now but Clary is an entire shot ahead. She looks determined, almost like she is drinking with a purpose, like she wants to get drunk and stop feeling for the night. But what in the hell could have possibly gotten to her? She doesn't let anything get to her. I know somethings wrong and maybe I will talk to her later about it.

By the time Jon is on his last shot, I am starting my first. Jordan and I are tied almost exactly but he slams his last shot glass down just a millisecond before I do. I let her have this win because I knew she would smile. I could've easily have thrown that last shot glass down faster, but I couldn't help but see her smiling again. She jumps up and embraces Jordan in a hug, it wasn't until he spun her around that I felt like vomiting.

"Jace," I hear from beside me. I look to see Jon still standing next to me and boy does he not look happy. He pulls me by the shoulder like he was going to say "good game" or "nice try" but he doesn't. "We're having that talk now while I am in my right mind to remember it," he says barely slurring the last word. He walks straight passed me and heads for the stairs to go up, only stopping for a second to make sure I was following him. I man myself up and grab the entire unopened bottle of Jack Daniels from the shots table and rip the cap off. I took a swig and saw Clary staring at me from the crowd of people. The room has gone silent by now, waiting for my response to Jon looking pissed at the staircase. I give her an unreadable look of my own and take the bottle with me as I follow Jon up to his bedroom.

The walls are soundproof, thank god, as the second the door is closed and locked behind us he is practically yelling at me. I barely have time to set down my precious Jack Daniels before he slams me into the far wall.

"You don't get to look at her like that," he screams at me. "You don't get to touch her, you don't get to look at her, you don't go near her!"

The fury in his eyes is unmistakable. I raise my head up and accept whatever fate he has in store for me.

"What the fuck happened man," he says a lot calmer now. He lets go of me and takes a step back, pulling at his hair as he returns to yelling. "Yesterday, it's okay for us all to be hanging out, and today you're _fantasizing_ about my sister?!"

"No," I say finally. My voice comes out ragged and pathetic. "I mean, yes, fuck, I thought about her like that. Bur NO. It's not like that, man. She's like a sister to me. She's too good for me, even if I could have her, I would never be good enough for her like that."

He stops stare at me, _I think that sobered him up a little bit._

"I'm not blind," I defend myself. "I might have been before lately but she's perfect. Beautiful. Kind. Smart. Deserving. Fuck man, she's everything we aren't. You think I would act on my emotions because I have a little _CRUSH_." His hands went perfectly still and I know exactly why.

"Jace Herondale doesn't have crushes," he clarifies. "He has one night stands."

"No, I _had_ one night stands," I finish. I am out of breath and I feel like I could collapse any second. "I'm finished, man, that look she gave me, that made me feel like _shit,_ like I could have thrown up just at the sight of her hugging another guy. I know what that that is, and you do too."

"Jealous-," he barely got out before his words caught.

"I'm done man, that's it for me. She's it for me."


	3. Chapter 3

**Psych. You get one more chapter today if I can manage to finish it and edit. This is a super awesome story but this is all I have for now, let me know if you really want another one, you have to review and tell me. I actually have inspiration for this story that I didn't have before. Alright though loves, I know you want to know what happens. So, enjoy!**

 **Chapter 3 - Clary POV**

"What the hell is that about," Izzy asked me. Everyone was staring at us, waiting for us to say something about the boys and their scene.

"Iz," I stutter out of my mouth. "I - uh - well - you know."

"Oh, honey," she said giving me a hug. "Tell me everything." The room was back to normal by now and everyone was back to drinking so I complied. I nodded my head but I wasn't going to allow myself to cry. I just hope I didn't ruin everything but doing what I did. "They would have gone to Jace's room, because that room is sound proof. But we can hear them if we sit in the bathroom next door."

I followed her upstairs, because I didn't trust myself to talk without crying I stayed completely silent.

We got upstairs and she locked the bathroom door behind her. "Is this about your crush on Jace? How did Jon find out?"

"He didn't, I think," I managed but it came out choppy.

All of a sudden, we heard something heavy slam against the wall in front of us, and then Jon was screaming. I could hear us words loud and clear, Izzy stood there in shock as my tears made their way out of my eyes and down my cheek. "I messed up everything, Iz. It's all my fault."

She shushed me and put her ear to the wall, the screaming was over but they were talking now. I could make out Jace's voice from the other end of the wall.

 _I mean, yes, fuck, I thought about her like that._ My breath caught and Izzy was standing there speechless. I had to use a towel to dry my face because I knew that my crying has smeared all of my makeup. _But she's too good for me,_ we heard next. _Even if I could have her, I would never be good enough for her like that_.

His words rang in my ears like a piercing scream. I was practically bawling now uncontrollably and Izzy was whispering sweet nothings in my ear so we could again.

After a few moments we heard Jon.

 _Jace Herondale doesn't do crushes, he has one-night stands._

That hit me the hardest, my brother was right. I have known Jace and the Lightwoods for forever, and I never stopped to see that he was only interested in one-night stands. I am literally the stupidest girl in the world to have been crushing on him practically my entire life. I feel so gross right now, like I could take a million showers and still not scrub off all of my stupidity. Izzy was trying to get me to calm down again because she wanted to hear again but I couldn't stop myself.

"I know it's hard right now, but just a few more moments, and then we'll cry together," she said. I nodded and closed my eyes, counting the seconds until I could drain the rest of the pain from my body. And then we heard it,

 _I'm done man, that's it for me. She's it for me._

I sat there in silence, I couldn't move, I couldn't think, I think I even started hyperventilating. We heard the door slam next to us and before we knew it, my brother was picking the lock on the bathroom door, "Dumb kids always lock this door," he muttered while the door flung open. Izzy made a noise that scared him enough to look up, and I was still sitting on the floor looking like a mess.

"Is there something wrong?" we heard from behind the door. Izzy shook her head and Jon caught on.

"No, I'm just gonna take a leak, I'll be down in a minute," Jon said to dismiss Jace. We heard his footsteps down the hall and I felt myself break on the inside. I curled my head in between my legs and pulled myself into a cocoon. Izzy started rubbing circles on my back again and Jon shut and relocked the door. "I think we need to have that conversation now, ClareBear."

"That's what you have to say right now," Izzy said trying to pull me up.

"I don't really do girl talk, but I need to know," he said calmly. "How long have you been in love with Jace, honestly?"

I refused to pick my head up from my knees so Izzy answered for me. "10 years, give or take."

"You WHAT?" he said clenching his fists on the counter. "I didn't know, he doesn't know. Clary he's a man-whore, he's literally the definition of a boy I should NOT let you be with. And you're telling me that you have had a _crush_ on this guy since I have been his friend?!"

"Leave her alone Jon," Izzy said bitterly. "It's not like that."

"I asked my sister," he said sternly. Izzy stepped up to him and crossed her arms. This is why I love this girl.

"I'm fine," I say picking my head up. Izzy hands me the towel so I can fix my face and I look in the mirror. "I know it'll never happen. He won't want me when he's sober again, he's only saying those things because he is drunk right now. Even then, I'll just be the new flavor of the week."

"Clare-," Izzy tries to say. I look at my brother instead.

"I saw his eyes after he was done with those shots, and he was drunk before we even played," I started at him. "I wouldn't even doubt it if he forgot everything he said by morning. I'll just be a small little girl with a crush on Jace Herondale, and he'll be screwing two other girls by morning."

"You heard him," Jon said cutting me from my monologue. "You're it for him, Clary. He said it, and I don't like it. If you don't want me on your side then I'll never bring him around again. If you do than you need to get up and go get him, because he won't be the one to make the first move."

His words rang true to my ears. Jace isn't the type to make the first move, he never has been. He's also not the type to say "no" to a booty call though either.

"I just need to go back to the party," I said finally. "Forget that all of this didn't happen, because he doesn't want me, he won't even remember wanting me. I'm a big girl Jon and I've been dealing with this for a long time. I'll be fine."

"And if he does still want you by morning?" Jon asked blocking the door to the bathroom.

"Then do your brotherly job," I said.

"And if he hurts you," Jon asked grabbing the doorknob to unlock it.

"Then I'll hurt him twice as hard," I said keeping my stare perfectly threatening. Jon bows his head and opens the door for us to leave.

"I'm sorry you're hurting ClareBear," he said quietly. "Go show him what he's missing, just keep it PG-13 or under."

With a wink and a real smile on my face I decided that my life wasn't going to end yet. Jace doesn't know about my secret, but now I know his.


	4. Chapter 4

**I am finally getting into this story like I wanted it to be. I love cliff hangers so we might just have to trust that I will update in a timely manner. Cough cough maybe not but I'll try. Lucky you guys, getting three chapters in one afternoon. It turned out that I had time after I was done getting homework done and I felt like writing. As always: If y'all haven't read any of my other stories yet, the characters belong to Cassie Clare, and her books are great. To the story, enjoy this one, I put a lot of thought into it.**

 **Chapter 4 - Clary POV**

So, there you know, this will forever be the night that Jace fell in love with me. Now I have to lay in my bed, drunk as hell, and accept the fact that I still can't have him. I think about it all the time, the things he could do to me, the fun we could have, the level of popularity we would accomplish, the love I would have for the boy I have known 2/3 of my life.

People just assume that he's a player and fuckboy, whatever. I knew him before he hit puberty and got all hot. Okay well that is kind of a lie, he's always been hot in my opinion, but never did I ever think that he would see me the same way. Like, I know I'm beautiful but beauty doesn't get you the guy in your dreams. My family has a lot of money, but money can't buy this kind of happiness. I know I am popular in school, but that doesn't get me in the line for Jace Herondale. He's my brother's best friend, he's seen me in my embarrassing moments and my attempts at being sexy, and me with him. But he never wanted me like that. I was always just the sister that he always wanted to pick on.

"Good morning," My brother says knocking on my door. "Are you feeling okay? You kind of drank a lot after everything happened, I brought you, Izzy, and Jace home to sleep. If that's okay for him to be here?"

"It's okay Jon," I patted to a spot next to me on the bed and remembered last night's events like a movie replay. "I'll deal with it."

"Just don't get trashed again please," he said giving me a bear hug. "You both got pretty bad, I couldn't keep an eye on all three of you so I called it for the night."

"Thank you for being there for me," I said, his eyes shining a shade lighter. "Just, if Jace doesn't remember anything, can we just pretend like it never happened, like I never told you my secret."

"Believe me I'd rather not know myself," he agrees. "Just knowing what happened makes me want to beat some sense into him." I give him my look and he soften back up. "You'll let me know if he tries anything with you, that you don't want I mean?"

"Of course," I said smiling the fake smile I have gotten so good at.

I followed him out my door and into the hallway where he pointed to the two spare bedrooms that are often used by Izzy and Jace in my house. Simon usually doesn't stay the night when we hang out unless it's a group thing, which I have never understood. I can see Jace asleep through the crack in the door. _He's not wearing a shirt._ I mentally slap myself.

I'm sitting at the bar on my favorite stool when Izzy wanders into the kitchen looking like a freeking supermodel. "How are you not hungover?" I scowl at her through my coffee mug. She gives me a grin and takes the stool next to me.

"Hangovers are so last year," she says simply. I laugh a little at her comment, of course she's hungover but she has to do everything fabulously.

The next thing I know, there's another set of footsteps coming into the kitchen. Izzy and I go silent but I don't look up from my coffee. Jon stops flipping pancakes and the only noises in the room are coming from the stove top. I can see Jon out of the corner of my eye giving Jace a questionable look. I know exactly what he is saying. _Do you remember?_ I see Jace's shadow reposition in the doorway and Jon's face turn and nod. _He just had to remember. Fuck me._

"Clary, can I talk to you," Jace says finally breaking the silence. I blink my eyes a couple of times before setting my coffee down. Izzy gives me a panicked look but I can't reassure her, my insides feel like they're about to burst. I follow him back up the stairs and he stops at my bedroom. I open the door for him and close it when he walks in.

"If you wanted me alone in my bedroom, you could have just asked," I say trying my part at a witty remark. His expression doesn't change. He's just looking at me, like he can see through my sass and my soul and see _me._ I feel so vulnerable under this look so I cover my chest with my arms.

"Can you not do that please," He says instead.

"So, you do remember," I say to the floor. I try not to look into his eyes because I know I'll get lost in them.

"I just needed to ask you," he said quietly, "If you're okay, after everything that happened last night."

"No," I say to the floor still. "I'm not okay. "I'm surprised you're so okay with everything, but I am not okay." I find the courage to look him in the eyes but this time I'm angry. "What the hell were you thinking, Jace. I was content with my relationship with Netflix and keeping my emotions buried deep. I was okay with never getting a chance with you, hell, I was even okay that you didn't like me like that." He looks so different right now. I wait to see what he has to say to me but he's just looking at me. "I was even okay watching you with a different girl every week. But I'm not now. I felt my insides break the moment you said those words and now I have to deal with the pieces."

He takes a step forward and raises a hand to brush his curls back on his, but I instantly take a step back.

"Clary," he tried to say but it came out scratchy and broken.

"I'm not okay with being on your list of broken hearts, Jace," I said instead.

He took another step forward and this time I stood my ground. Another step later, he was within touching distance. I couldn't feel myself breathing so I had to take a deep breath to calm myself. Another step, and his hand came up to touch my cheek, I didn't even try to stop my eyes from filling with the emotions of my broken heart. If only he hadn't ruined it like that, maybe we could do this for real.

One last step, and his body is up against my own. I can see him up close and so clear. Every muscle wrapping around his arm, the vain in his neck pulsing quickly, his eyes that have turned to the deepest color of gold. His touch sent my body into overdrive and I could see it in his eyes that he feels it too.

"I know," he says finally taking his hand down. "I know I'll never deserve you, I just thought maybe since you knew the real me, that you would give me a real chance." He took a step back and I forced myself to look away. He walks around me to the door but stops when he touches the doorknob. "I guess, if you ever find yourself wanting me, no matter the time of day, you can give me a call."

And then he was gone. And I let myself break again.

Jace never came back over after that morning. Izzy spent the entire day with me watching Nicolas Sparks movies and making endless bags of popcorn. After the fifth movie in a row, she cut me off of popcorn and handed me a chocolate milk. She didn't make me talk about it, and she didn't offer to beat up her brother, she just stayed with me for the rest of the week. But now school was starting and our positions as this years "It Girls", we need to take some serious showers. I let the water burn through my sulking and burn through the rest of my grudges. I haven't seen Jace in a week, although I wouldn't doubt it if Jon killed him and hid the body. I never did tell him what happened with us, but I am sure that Izzy told him it was something that wasn't good.

We're standing in front of the High School's front doors now about to start our senior year; and the only thing that I can think of, is avoiding Jace for a few more days.

"Maybe I was too harsh on him, Iz," I confessed once we were at her locker. She slammed the door shut and gave me her look.

"My brother doesn't deserve you, and he knows it," she said laying a hand on her hip. "If he really wants to do this with you, he'll man the fuck up and try again."

"I don't think so this time-," I tried to tell her.

"I do," she said simply.

Inside the cafeteria, Jace and Jon were standing in the middle of a group of football guys surrounded by a group of cheerleaders looking for attention. _Looks like Jon didn't kill him after all._

I open my locker and shove my bag and a couple of books inside. When I close it, I see Jace standing at the end of the hallway across from the same barbie girl from the party last week. She was trying to talk to him, but he blew her off completely. He locked eyes with me as he was walking by me but fixed his head straight again before I could get his attention.

Izzy had to stay after school to wait for Jace to be done with football tryouts because Alec had somewhere else to be today. So, I am sitting with her on the bleachers watching the boys run laps and run drills while the coach blows his whistle at different people.

She led me back through the doors to wait inside when she decided that she was going to get a sunburn if she stayed out there any longer. I was leaning against the wall adjacent to the outside doors when I heard dozens of different shoes echo on the floor. Izzy fell silent and tried to play cool but I could feel someone breathing behind me. "Jace," I said without turning my head. Izzy pretended to be interested in a sign hanging up on the wall.

"Here I thought you forgot about me," he said in a deep voice. My insides rattled at the deepness of his voice and I turned around to look him in the eyes. I open my mouth to say something but Jon breaks my silence.

"Jordan saved us showers but we have to go, man," he said giving me a sympathetic glance.

Izzy and I are now viciously rebelling against homework as we watch The Lucky One in the living room of my house. The TV is huge, and the couches are comfier than my bed. The door opens and Jon, Jordan, and Jace walk through.

"Are we interrupting you?" Jordan says with his mock tone and standing in the way of the screen.

"Not really," I say trying to sound board. "But you are welcome to join us," I challenged. He stepped to the side and the boys made their way to the basement. Probably to play video games or something. And then my phone buzzes in my pocket.

 **Jace: You don't have to ignore me forever**

 **Me: I am not, I just have nothing to say to you yet**

 **Jace: How much does Jon know, he won't talk about it**

 **Me: Pretty much nothing I didn't tell anyone**

 **Jace: Do I have any chance or are you just playing with me?**

 **Me: That was blunt**

 **Jace: I can leave if you want me too...**

 **Me: No, it's okay, I've actually missed talking to you all the time**

 **Jace: What does that make us?**

 **Me: I haven't decided**

 **Jace: Can I persuade you? ;)**

 **Me: You can try ;)**

 **Jace: Don't tease me now Clary**

I couldn't help the blush that came across my body.

 **Me: Of course, you would mean sexually**

 **Jace: Not a chance, but I do have ways Miss Fray**

 **Me: I'd like that**

 **Jace: Same.**

 **Me: Then it's a date then**

 **Jace: Tomorrow night, I'll pick you up at 6**

 **Me: You don't need more time to plan some epic romantic date or something?**

 **Jace: Sweetheart, I've been planning my first date with you all week. It's perfect.**

The movies are over by now and I decide to go to bed. It's crazy late and I am sure the boys left hours ago. So, I fall asleep dreaming like I could actually make myself whole again.


	5. Chapter 5

**Oh, to all the brave souls that keep reading my stories, this chapter is the reason they have to be Rated M. In honors of Valentine's day of course. Enjoy a lot more life in this chapter and the ending, wink wink. The sass gets a little real but it's cool.**

 **Chapter 5 - Clary POV**

I walked through the front doors of the school that morning feeling pretty invincible. Anyone who has waited 10 years to get a date with their crush would understand this feeling. I chose to go badass this morning because, yolo. A pair of black high waisted jean shorts and a white crop top with lace at the end of it, and my favorite cream-colored leather jacket over my shoulders; I even wore my black combat boots and fishnet tights.

Girls always stare at me when I walk through the hallway and most of them probably wish they were me. Then the hallway falls silent as I get to my locker and I notice they're not staring at me anymore. The doors slam shut and I roll my eyes. I can hear Jace and Jon laughing at some stupid joke. I have my back to them as they walk through the hallway, the only sounds being those of squealing girls and the boys' voice. I feel another body behind me, by the way my breath just caught and pulse tripled in speed, I know exactly who it is.

There's a hand on my waist and hot breath against my neck and I know people are watching, even Jon. I turn myself around and see his panty dropping grin and bright eyes fixed on mine. There's a couple of gasps from the crowd but I don't let my eyes budge from his. I put on my famous smile that rivals his own and lean back into my locker, just enough to drive him crazy. And I can see clearly that it worked, his smile waivered down just for a split second.

"You look cute today," he said playfully. Any other girl would be on their knees right now, but that's why I'm leaning against my locker. _Is it even fair for one guy to be so hot?_

"Bitch, I look hot today," I manage a determined face. There's a couple of whistles from the crowd this time from passing boys and Jace had to swallow hard and his grip on my waist tightened. I grinned just a little wider. _That hit a nerve I see._

He leaned in closer, caging me between himself and my lockers. His lips grazed my cheek before settling by my ear. He waited until I could barely breathe from his closeness and I could feel myself blush hardcore before he said, "Imagine how hot you would look underneath me," he said so quietly and low, I about lost myself right there. _Way to make me sexually frustrated. He has no idea the damage I can do back._ I tried to cover my blush with my hair but I leaned into even more and felt him stiffen from the sudden contact.

I looked around at all the people staring, the death glares from all those barbie girls, and Jon's angry dead cold stare before I said, "If you'd like that so much, why don't you use that mouth to make me." I know no one else heard me but it was enough to make Jace stop in his tracks.

It was a good thing his back was to the crowd because for the second time, I have made Jace Herondale speechless. I laughed and raised my eyebrows but he stood frozen for more than a single moment.

"How about the two of you stop making each other frustrated so we can all go to class," Izzy said stepping out of the crowd and grabbing me by the arm. She dragged me away before Jace could move an inch. I heard the boys laughing again from down the hallway and I couldn't believe the temperature my body was right now.

We had to stop around the corner in the lady's room so I could catch my breath. Izzy made sure it was empty before we both started laughing. "I can't believe I just said that to him," I said breathing heavy still.

"He looked like he couldn't believe it either," she said between giggles. It took us a moment to catch ourselves before we managed to be standing straight again.

Jace came home with Jon after football practice so they could talk about guy stuff or some shit. He announced he was taking up the spare bathroom so he could shower before our date. Izzy was helping me with my hair while I drew eyeliner, blush, bronzer, and eyeshadow on my face.

"You look great," Izzy said after half an hour. "I should go ask Jace what you should wear," she said stopping at the door. "But I am afraid he'll say "nothing" after your little chat this morning." She grinned at me and I threw a pillow at her. I decided to wear what I wore to school because I couldn't think of anything better to wear right now, but I did take off my jacket so it was just my crop top covering my chest.

"On a scale of one to ten," I asked her posing a few times in front of my floor length mirror.

"Perfection," she answered me. She stopped being funny for a second when we heard a knock on my door.

"ClareBear," Jon said on the other end.

"Show him what a real girl is," Izzy said giving me a hug. I saw how happy she was for us and I nodded my promise to her.

She opened the door for Jon who took Izzy's place in my room. She shut the door behind her, I'm assuming she's going to give Jace the talk.

"You look beautiful Clare," he said giving me a hug, his eyes all serious and happy.

"It's a date not my wedding, Jon," I said hugging my brother back.

"Just have fun please," he said desperately.

"It's not my first date," I said sarcastically.

"It's the first date that I am allowing," he said releasing me. "I want this to work out for you guys, if that's what you really want."

"I do," I said.

We met Izzy and Jace downstairs and it took me a moment to fully appreciate the boy standing in front of me. He messed up his hair, put on fresh clothes, and is holding a single rose in his hand. Let me just tell you how good those dark jeans look on his hips, and that V neck shirt looks on his arms, and those boots he always wears that somehow just add to the sexiness.

I took a deep breath and smiled back at Izzy who was grinning from ear to ear.

"So Iz and I are just gonna hang out here until you guys get back," Jon said. "Have fun, have her home by 10."

I rolled my eyes at his parental guidelines and Jace nodded back.

He handed me the rose and we walked out the front door. _Here we go_.

"You brought the Camaro," I said stopping in my tracks.

 _That Camaro used to belong to his father, it's the only thing he has left from his birth parents. He never takes it out of the garage for the fear of something happening to it. I've only even gotten to see it a couple of times ever._

"It seemed appropriate," He said getting the door for me.

"Your Jeep Wrangler is appropriate too," I said.

"Well I wanted you to be the first girl besides my mom to ride in the passenger seat," he said before shutting the door and getting into the driver's seat. It's true, he's never let anyone else ride in it, not even Maryse or Robert.

The engine revved to life and I saw the biggest smile on his face. Driving with Jace is like driving into the sunset - the windows down - his hand on mine - like one of those Nicolas Sparks movies I love so damn much. After he made me so frustrated today, and the way he looks right now makes my insides do flips. I lay his hand on my upper thigh and pretend not to notice. Jace, however, swallows hard and blinks a few times to focus on the road. I move his fingertips up just a few centimeters but it was enough for him to have to readjust his shoulders.

I know I am making him uncomfortable but I like revenge in its sweetest form. He looks at me for a moment before returning some of his confidence. He moves his own hand up the rest of my thigh until it lays at the hem of my shorts. It's my turn to blush now from the trail of heat his fingers left on my skin. I can feel the roughness of his hands and the only think I can think about is, _imagine how hot you would look underneath me_.

I know it's cliché to kiss or whatever on the first date but really, this boy has been making me frustrated since I was 7 years old. The day I was old enough to notice boys, was the day I noticed him. It's not like we don't mean anything to each other, we've been in each other's lives for a solid decade now.

 _Sleeping with him would ruin everything. Maybe it won't though._

I know my brain is just trying to protect me, but his hand on me is making my heart say otherwise.

He parks in front of an old-fashioned mansion looking house. "It's beautiful," is the only word I can use to describe it. It looks like someone plucked it out of a Country Home magazine or something. "We aren't breaking in though-," I try to stop him.

"We're not breaking in, Clary," he says sliding out of the door. "I know the owner." I sigh in relief as he gets my door and offers me his hand.

The second that my car door was shut the front door was being opened. Jace tossed the doorman his car keys.

"Mrs. Lightwood didn't say you were visiting today, sir," he said closing the door behind us.

"Maryse doesn't know," Jace said giving him a wink. "But I don't need her permission to come home."

The man muttered something like, "of course," or something but my eyes were focused on the beautiful house in front of me. I was speechless. The winding grand staircase, the kitchen bigger than my bedroom, the living room fit for a queen.

"Wait," I said turning myself to face him. "Home?"

"Clary," Jace said slowly. "Welcome to Herondale manor."

I think I chocked on my own tongue.

"I am the last of the Herondale line for now, so," he paused to spread his arms and gesture to the house. "It's mine. My grandma, actually, but she lives in London. So, she put in her will for me. My parents didn't really get the chance, all I got was the Camaro. But my grandma said that since I grew up here, it was only fitting that I stay here."

I think he can tell that I'm lost.

"I stay with the Lightwoods because I'm not 18 yet," he clarifies. "But no one else knows about this place. Not Alec or Izzy, not Jon or the guys, not a single girl." I think I could die of happiness in this house. "I wanted to show you that this is real to me. Not some drunken decision, not some temporary pass in your pants, not to me."

He takes my hand and shows me up the staircase. "The house was built in the 1800s, it was built for a family of 18. So, there's 16 bedrooms and 10 full baths. Maryse and Robert hired Hodge over back there to keep it up until I turned 18. Obviously, we won't need a house this big, but it's home."

"It's perfect," I manage to make out.

"This is where the date is," he says stopping at the door at the end of the first hallway. He took a breath and opened the door. There were candles lit along the wall, candles on the shelves, and larger candles in each corner of the room. There's a huge fluffy blanket in the center of the room surrounded by pillows and a picnic basket in the middle. "Look up," he says lifting my chin with his finger. This ceiling is made of glass - which means the stars can be seen through it at night. "My dad brought my mom here for their first date," he said nervously.

If it hadn't been for my stomach growling, I could've stared at this room for hours. He laughs at me and sits me down on the blanket.

"Are you going to keep staring at me, or are you going to eat?" He asks me in a mocking tone.

I take the grilled cheese out of his hands and enjoy every bit of it. By the time we are both done eating the sun is setting and we're laying on the blankets wrapped up in the pillows.

"I come here sometimes," Jace says breaking the silence. "Just to get away, forget about things for a while, think about my parents."

"I always wondered where you disappeared too on Sundays," I say rubbing continuous circles on the back of his hand. I want him to hold my hand but I won't be the first to make that move. He probably won't either unless I push him too.

I felt his chest rise like he was laughing at me. I raise my eyebrows at him and he sits up and puts me in his lap to lean on him.

I feel my breath catch from the sudden contact but the view really is amazing. It's easy for me to ignore the heat coming from in between us until his fingers lay themselves on my side. I close my eyes and focus on the electric current that came through me when he touched me. "Are you okay?" his voice so low, so husky. _This boy and his sexiness_.

I muffle out a pathetic "Mmhmm", and try to sit up more. his hand trails up my side, and around to my shoulder, where he brings in back down to my waist. I involuntarily shuddered at his confidence. _Of course, he has confidence, he's Jace Herondale_ , I had to remind myself. I can practically see his cocky grin so I find some boldness of my own.

I scratch my head lightly and "accidentally" bring all of my hair over to one side, leaving my neck and one side of my shoulders completely bare.

The next thing I know, he's tracing a finger from my hand, up my arm, and stopping at my ear. My body shudders again before I can stop it. I tilt my head back and try to ignore it, but he leans in so close to me, I can feel his hot breath on my neck.

My breath catches and he takes his arm still holding my side, and slides in around against my stomach; successfully pulling me flush against him.

I can feel his heavy breathing now and it does wonders to make my own breathing ragged.

I have to fight to keep my eyes closed at this point because otherwise, I'll lose myself in him too quickly. But if he wants to play this game, I can play it back. I roll my hips, ever so slowly, and successfully get the deepest of a growl of Jace.

"Don't do that, Clary," he says so darkly. Like he's about to lose his self-control. Well, mine flew out the window when I decided to grind on him, so yolo. I take my time this time, and I wrap a hand behind me, around his neck to play with the bottoms of his hair - and I roll my hips again, this time lighter and slower. His grip on my waist tightens to the point that it might bruise later. It turns me on knowing he's trying to hold on.

"Are you gonna make me stop?" I asked. The words barely made it out of my mouth with how heavy I am breathing, but he understood me just fine.

"Is that a question or a command?" he asks in return. His voice is dripping with so much desire, it makes me think about how long I've waited for him.

It took everything I had in me to stop playing with his hair. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath and I found my inner confidence. I managed to make the best out of it so I flipped myself around so I am still sitting on his lap, but now facing him.

"That was graceful," he mocked with an award-winning smirk.

"I'm always graceful," I mocked back leaning in closer.

And then he finally does it, he finally leans in. I thought this moment over so many times in my head, the different ways he could kiss me, how good he truly was. Let me tell you, anything I could've possibly have imagined will never compare to his actual lips on mine. My body filled itself with electricity and I was lifting my arms to bury them in his hair. His hands were grabbing at me, and flipping me backwards so he could be on top.

His lips made me want to scream like a giddy girl. They move so perfectly with my own, it's unimaginably perfect. _This is the moment,_ _Jace Herondale can have me, and I can have him_.

His hands are on my hips sliding below my crop top, and min have already found the hem of his shirt. He's gasping for air in between kisses which is making him look just as desperate as I am. "Clary," he says pulling away for a split second. "Let me take this slow, please." It came out more like a plea than a question. I nodded and my hands went back to his shirt. He let me lift it slowly up his torso, his eyes never leaving mine until it got to the top.

I took advantage of his gaze breaking from mine to admire his chest so close up. He puts a hand to my cheek and lifts my eyes back to meet his, almost like he was nervous that I was looking at him.

"I want to admire this body," I said, although my voice came out raspy and uneven.

"I want to admire yours," he said locking his hands with the bottom of my crop top. I lifted my hands above my head, and he slowly and painfully lifted it over my head.

At least I am wearing a good bra today, it makes my boobs look great, and I think Jace would agree with me. His gaze locks with my own chest and I can feel myself heat up just by the way he licked his bottom lip at me. Those lips...

He kisses me again and I let my hands roam is body freely. "You're so beautiful," he makes out between kisses.

I smile against his lips and let his hands explore the newly exposed skin. His fingers are tracing my rib cage, my chest, up to my color bone - driving me crazy. All the while, my own hands are tracing every muscle, every perfect dimple, every rib.

He kisses a small line down my chin to my neck and down to my collar bone. My body is on fire and I can feel Jace heat up under my fingertips with all the sexual tension in the room. His lips get to my shoulder where my lacy black bra strap lays and he pushes it out of the way with his teeth.

I involuntarily let out a small moan as his breath touches the sensitive skin. He pushes his body flush with mine and I can feel his desperation in between his legs. I smile again at the effect that I have had on him.

My breathing is impossibly fast as his lips trail to my breast, circling around the remaining bra that still covers me. _No boy has ever seen me without a top on_.

I feel his fingers pushing the other strap down from my shoulder and repeating his tease on the other side. I can't help the noises that come out of my mouth anymore and I can tell it's turning him on even more. His fingers dip in between my breasts and my head rolls back at the sensation. _I never thought I could be so ready to have sex_.

His eyes finally caught mine, in a mixture of question and desire, I answered him by pulling him in for another kiss. He wraps his hand around my back and his fingers release the final clasp keeping me covered. He took his sweet time putting a single finger back in between my breasts and slowly moving it downward. It seemed like forever, and a hot trail of electricity left on my skin from his finger, before my bra was completely on the floor, and no longer covering my average size chest.

My hands are reaching to undo his belt and button to his jeans before he gets a chance to stop me. He takes his chance and uses one of his hands to roll my nipple in between his fingers. My head rolls back again and he smiles that triumphant smile of his like he won something. _He won my frustration_ , I said to myself.

He places his lips just above my collar bone and trails more kisses down my chest until he gets to my shorts. He unbuttons my pants and his hands move down my sides until they are slipped under the waist band. "I need you to tell me right now," he says desperately. "I won't be able to stop myself if we go any further."

I look at the uncertainty in his eyes and I feel the heat coming from our bodies. "Please, Jace," I say just as desperately.

He makes quick work of my pants and my fishnet tights. I'm lying in front of him in just a black thong. His eyes are blazing under the night sky and I can't help but think, _this night couldn't be more perfect._

I tugged his pants down his legs and he settled himself in between my legs. After practically racing my thong off of my legs, he is settled back on top of me with nothing but his boxers in between us. "You're soaked," he says kissing me again.

"I wonder who did that to me," I said. I can't help it sometimes the sarcasm drips from my tongue like water.

"It would be my honor to take care of that for you," he said returning to our heated kisses.

His hands run down my sides again before settling themselves in between my legs. He moves so slow as he lowers his head down further and further, not breaking eye contact for a second. When his mouth finally connects with me my head falls back to the pillows instantly so I can fist my hands in the blanket.

He slips one finger into me and I can't help to move my hips into his touch. A few more seconds later he enters another finger. I let out a moan but he continues his assault. "I just need to get you ready for something bigger," he says entering a third finger. My moan becomes desperate as he removes them and slides back up to look me in the eyes.

In this moment, I can see through his eyes and read him like an open book. I don't think either one of us was ready for this kind of intimacy but it's happening, and it feels so good. He reaches passed me for his wallet where I've always known he keeps an emergency condom. I rip his boxers the rest of the way down his legs and give him a moment to roll the plastic down himself. I can see what he means by bigger.

I lay myself back down and wrap my legs around his waist. He settles himself in position and looks at me for confirmation. "I'm not going to lie, this will hurt. Just brace yourself, okay? It'll hurt but it will go away," he says moving some hair out of my face. I nod my head and hang on to him.

He pushes hard and I can feel by barrier being torn to shreds. I cry out and squeeze my eyes shut at the amount of pain that has replaced my heat. Jace stays perfectly still as I attempt to calm myself down. My body eventually stops shaking and I can feel the rest of the pain subsiding.

"Just, move slowly at first," I said wiggling my hips a little to see how bad it would be.

The second he started moving, I could feel the pleasure ripple through me. He kept a slow pace for a few minutes but it's not enough.

I scratch at his back and squeeze him in tighter to meet his soft thrusts with a harder one of my own. I can see his walls crumbling behind his eyes and I can tell how close I am right now.

By the time I start screaming his name, Jace is crashing on top of me, riding out our highs and catching our breath.

It almost looked like he was going to say something to me before his phone started ringing. The thought disappeared from his eyes as he reached for his cell phone.

"It's Jon."


	6. Chapter 6

**Hello everyone,**

 **I'm supposed to be writing essays right now because my college quarter finals are due next week, but I am going to write this instead. I was waiting for a couple of more reviews and followers before I put this out there.**

 **You are going to see a lot more of the characters and their personalities; sorry that it will be kind of depressing for a little bit, but I save the best for last. I won't keep going if there's no more reviews guys, I like to know what you guys think!**

 **Chapter 6 - Clary POV**

 _It almost looked like he was going to say something to me before his phone started ringing. The thought disappeared from his eyes as he reached for his cell phone._

 _"It's Jon."_

My heart felt like a million pounds as Jace answered the phone. My ears started ringing and I realized I was completely naked, and Jon was on the phone. I searched for anything in Jace's eyes as he held the phone up to his ear without any luck. The only thing his face showed was a blank stare directed at the wall across from us. He didn't say anything as my brother's voice mumbled on the other side.

I tried to look him in the eyes, and my heart ripped in two when he grabbed his pants instead. I put my clothes on before Jace could turn back around, and the call was over. I kept myself facing away from him because I couldn't bear the look he'll have on his face - the words that he'll say to me.

Maybe, _this was a mistake, I shouldn't have brought you here,_ or my personal favorite from movies, _it's not you, it was me._

My heart breaks when I hear the phone hang up, and nothing but silence from behind me. I close my eyes and try not to cry as recent events come rushing back to me all at once. _I just lost my virginity._

After more than just a few minutes I hear the door to the room open. A part of me is incredibly angry that he still hasn't said anything to me, but has the nerve to open the door. I can honestly say, I've never been hurt so bad in my life by anything than the first words that come out of Jace's mouth after taking my virginity. Out of all of the things I imagined that he would say, whatever excuse he could come up with. I never expected this.

"Let me take you home."

Those five words shattered me into more pieces than I care to admit.

 _Just get home,_ I told myself. _Call Izzy when you get home. Just get home, so you cry by yourself. Don't cry in front of him._

So, I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and I turned around. His eyes were fixed on mine but I knew that I would break if he looked at me like that. _Just get home_. So, I fixed my eyes on the empty road ahead of us and let myself sit in the empty silence.

I don't know what I was expecting. Some nice guy to swift me off my feet, tell me some incredible secret that no one else knows, treat me like the princess that I am. _SO STUPID._

 _I should have listened to myself -_

 _I should have seen this coming -_

 _I should have done better._

The car came to a stop outside my house but I didn't move right away. I knew Jace was looking at me as he shut the car off but I kept looking straight.

"Clare," he tried to say but I don't want to hear it right now. My name coming out of his mouth makes me want him, and this is a game I don't want to play.

"I can walk myself in," I say getting my own door. I brush some hair out of my face and over my shoulder. If I'm going to spend all night heartbroken, I'm going to do it with my chin up. I heard another door shut before I could get up to my front door.

The door swung open after I knocked once showing Jon on the other side. I gave him an award-winning smile and give him a quick hug.

"Did you have fun?" he asks with an undertone of nervousness to it. I ignored it so I wouldn't break down right now.

I turned my award-winning smile to Jace this time to make myself more believable.

"It was great," I said. "We'll do it again sometime."

Jace's eyes slipped for a second but he quickly recovered with a smirk of his own. This only pissed me off more. I looked him right in the eye as I let my fake smile sink to my toes. Our eyes locked for a moment longer before Jon interrupted.

"That's good news," he said.

My eyes connected once more for Jace's. Searching for any sign of remorse or guilt that could potentially save this night.

"Yeah," I said crossing my arms in front of me once I found no change in him. It wasn't until after I said it that I noticed that y voice cracked against my will. Jon took a step forward and I closed my eyes. I cursed myself for the slip up and I blinked away the moisture gathering in my eyes. "I need Izzy," I clarified, making sure I was looking at the ground. "She'll probably want every detail." I finished. I stole a glance at Jace right before the door shut but I saw nothing in his eyes, or maybe it was my eyes seeing nothing else through.

The door barely closed before Izzy was walking into the doorway from the living room. One look at my best friend sent me over the edge. I let out a high-pitched squeal and the tears came down my face.

I barely heard a voice from the other side of the door and Izzy had me on my feet. She yelled something over my cries and led me to my bedroom before the front door even opened and closed.

"Honey," she said locking my bedroom door behind us. I buried myself in five different blankets and held my stomach in my hands.

"He," I tried to say through my sobs. "I-," I tried again but she seemed to understand.

"You had sex," she whispers yelled at me. She turned on my radio so that no one could hear in if they tried too and curled up next to me. "But that's not what happened?"

I calmed myself down enough to tell her the truth.

"He took me to a special place," I started, "It was more beautiful than anything I've ever imagined." She nodded her head and rubbed circles on my back. "We had a picnic, he was a gentleman, it was so perfect Izzy." I tried to wipe my eyes and get myself together. "It hurt so bad," but I cried again. "Oh my god, it hurt so bad." She whispered sweet nothings to me while I got myself together again. "And then it was incredible. It was perfect, and beautiful, and it felt right."

"Then what happened?" she asked and I nodded.

"I have no idea," I said honestly, and I felt the effects of my heart breaking. "He got a phone call from Jon, he stopped talking," I stopped so I could wipe my eyes again. "He didn't ask me if I was okay, or offer to get my door. Out of all the things he could have said, Izzy. All he said after that phone call was, _let me take you home._ He didn't do anything, I just sat there while he drove too stubborn to cry in front of him."

"I'm so sorry," she said after I was finished.

"How am I supposed to feel right now?" I asked finally.

"You are allowed to let yourself cope," she said standing up in front of me. she looked at my arms wrapped around my stomach, but I would never admit that I still hurt right now.

"Go take a long bath," she said nodding to my bathroom. "It'll help with the pain. I'll cover for you."

I nod my head and take her advice. Curiosity gets the better of me so I ask, "What was the phone call about? You were here with Jon, you would know."

She smiles at me and gathers some clothes from my dresser. "He just called to check in. He wanted to tell Jace that some of the football team was going out tomorrow and then joked about the date for a minute and that was it."

"Sorry," I said making my way to my bathroom door. "I just needed to know."

I thought by the time I was done taking my bath, I could go get some water and go to sleep. Instead, I am standing at the top of the staircase wrapped in my robe, eavesdropping on a conversation.

"What the fuck, Jace," I heard my brother whisper yelling. He sounded so angry.

"I didn't mean for it to happen!" he whisper yelled back.

"How and the hell are going to explain to me that fucking my little sister was an accident?" Jon went off again. _Oh, shit_.

I heard a frustrated growl in response, probably from Jace.

"It wasn't like that," Jace said with more frustration than Jon.

"You're doing a shitty job of convincing me to _NOT_ kick your ass right now," Jon said arrogantly. A few more seconds went by before I heard Jon again. "Just start from the beginning."

I could only hear bits and pieces of Jace ranting about a story, probably about me or about what happened, but I couldn't help by try and listen.

"I never had a problem with my life before last year-," I heard clearly. "Right before Christmas break, I was leaving the school one day and she was trying to fit some books at the top of her locker. It was confusing at first - why did that moment make me smile like an idiot? Why is it that I wake up thinking about her after a one-night stand? Why is it that every time she talks, I stop to hear about what she has to say? And then one day just a few months later before the end of the year, she was talking and flirting with Jordan. I got so angry I broke my phone in the parking lot." I heard a mumble from Jon but it wasn't clear, and then Jace's voice again. "Yeah," he said followed by a chair scrapping against the hard floor.

"Izzy said she was fucking crying," Jon said after a few more moments that I couldn't make out again. "And Clary doesn't cry."

"I know," I made out clearly again. "I fucked it up. But -."

"You're leaving her alone tonight," Jon said plainly, he sounded angry again. "I'll make sure she's not in too much pain but this is your mess to clean up." Jon could be so strict when it came to me. "If you don't fix this, don't bother again. You won't get another blessing out of me." I thought maybe for a second that Jace was going to say something but I heard Jon's voice again. "She won't be another name on your endless list of previous broken hearts."

I heard Jace for a split second before Jon interrupted him. "Jace Herondale doesn't do relationships. Maybe she's different for you, maybe she's not. But I have to go take her this IB Profen and a glass of water and tell her that she'll be okay." There was a slam of a cupboard before I heard any voices again. "My fucking sister, man. We're so far from cool right now, it's not even funny."

I heard footsteps and decided that I was done eavesdropping. I wrapped myself around my blankets and held my pillow against me as I laid back down. I didn't try and hide my distorted face or hurting eyes when Jon knocked on my door.

He gave me the medicine and whispered sweet nothings to me as I cried into his never-ending bear hug.

 **So, this is where I have to stop for the night, I have to go back to real life homework now. Let me know what you think about the story line because I have so many ideas for this one. Enjoy xoxo**


	7. Chapter 7

**Back again, a little sooner than I expected but I won't be able to update for a few more days at least. My college finals are all due this weekend and those are time consuming. I love seeing your reviews, that's what makes writing motivating so feel free to keep commenting or asking questions. I didn't want this to be too long so I will get on with the story now!**

 **Singles you up - Jordan Davis**

 **Characters still belong to Cassie Clare, even if I don't write it every time**

Chapter 7 -Clary POV

Waking up the next two mornings was hell. I was in so much pain and Jon kept trying to help me do things. I know he's trying to help but this is my problem, and I can't help but think how many other girls' virginity he's taken and left the next day. The thought makes me feel gross and exhausted all over again.

"What are you wearing today?" Izzy asks from her spot on my bed.

"Skinny jeans and a tank top," I say holding up a wad of clothes. She rolls her eyes at me and stands up.

"You need to shake it up. You know, show Jace what he's missing or something," she says putting her hands to her waist. Any other time I would listen to her and probably end up taking her advice; but I just don't feel like it.

"I'm not going to do anything," I say heading to change in my bathroom. She waits until I'm done before continuing her opinions.

"You can't do nothing," she said furiously. "That's like letting him get away with it!"

"He will get away with it," I say in the most even tone I can manage. "I just want to pretend it never happened and go back to normal."

"That's not healthy Clare," she says like it's a fact.

"And dressing myself up to make him jealous is?" I ask rhetorically.

"Yes-."

"No," I interrupt. "I'm still the same me, but I just don't know what that means for the two of us yet." She looks back at me with a confused expression. "In the course of five days, he wiggled himself into my pants and broke my heart. He did everything I was afraid of. I'm not going to believe he regretted hurting me because then it would have never happened." I took a deep breath. "If he wants to play games, that's fine. I'll even get my own jabs in. But I am done wanting someone that only wants one thing."

Izzy nodded her head in defeat and looked at myself in the mirror. I know that I am pretty and I don't even try and hide it - my hair is perfect, my eyes are an awesome shade of emerald, my boobs fit my body perfectly. I may be short and only 100 pounds, but I am just as lethal as anyone else.

I fix my hair and make a little messier coming down my shoulders. Izzy stands up to meet me and she smiles at our reflections.

I take her elbow in my own and we make our way to the school.

Walking through the front doors was refreshing. It seemed so normal compared to the weekend I just had. Izzy and I stop and talk to the usual crowd of admirers and exchange a few pieces of gossip with some wannabees on our way to our lockers. The normal female rush to the front doors to meet Jace, Jon, and the boys happens after a few minutes and I ignore the shit out them like the mature adult that I am.

I hear giggles and squeals from girls as they pass by them but Izzy and I keep busy talking about nothing until they get to the other side of the hallway.

"Clary," I hear from behind us. I almost answer until I remember that I am trying to ignore them. "Clary," I hear again and this time I turn around.

"Can I help you?" I ask lazily planting a smile on my face and my eyebrows raised. Jon has an arm around some girl but I don't see Jace right now, not that I was looking for him or anything.

"Did you remember that we're hosting this weekend's party?" he says from the front of the newly gathered crowd.

"You are hosting it, big brother, not me," I say flicking some hair over my face. Jace walks between two other people and stands next to Jon with a wild smirk on his face. I roll my eyes dramatically as he makes his presence known.

"Come on Clary, help a brother out?" He says with a pouty face that makes every girl in a 10-yard radius swoon. I keep myself under control and ignore the heat coming from my chest.

"I don't think I can help you," I say stepping up another few steps. "But that blonde over there would be happy too."

I turn myself around and walk away with Izzy by my side as people are exchanging high fives and whooping at my jab at Jace.

"You left him speechless," Izzy says stealing a glance from behind us. "Can't say I'm not impressed. But you don't plan on helping them host this weekend?"

"They know I will," I said keeping my eyes fixed on the end of the hall. "They only asked me again because they wanted to force me to talk to them again."

"Oh," is all Izzy said until we are seated in our first hour.

Lunch came all too fast and I was sitting with my normal group of friends. Jace and Jon have been sitting with the football team lately because they think they need to talk about football all the time.

Everyone laughed at something that Izzy had just said when my phone buzzed in my back pocket.

 **Jace: Talk to me?**

it read. I thought about it for a second until I decided I wasn't done being angry. I put my phone above my head and looked at Jace through the crowd. He locked eyes with me for a second before I put my phone back down in a dramatic way. _NO_.

 **Jace: Please?**

 **Me: Don't sound too desperate, you might damage that reputation**

 **Jace: That's not what I care about**

 **Me: You cared about it last weekend**

I could visibly see his head go down from where I am sitting in the crowd.

 **Jace: I didn't mean for that to happen, believe me**

 **Me: Which part? Where you had sex with me or when you ignored me after**

 **Jace: Both I guess**

 **Me: You're not ready for a relationship, just admit it you got scared**

I didn't give a chance to respond before I finished the conversation.

 **Me: It's not a big deal anyways, I wasn't thinking clearly either**

I waited a few minutes before putting my phone away, he's obviously not going to respond again. The bell rang and I was the first one from the table up.

The weekend came all too fast and I haven't spoken to Jace since that day. Izzy and Simon were currently sitting in my room with me waiting for the boys to be done setting up the house, pushing furniture out of the way, setting up a couple of tables, and whatever.

"They said they're setting up a karaoke stage!" Izzy said painting her nails an obnoxious shade of purple.

"Can't wait," I said dramatically.

"Si," Izzy said getting his attention. "Can you go get our dresses from my car please?" she bats her lashes at him and he stands up.

"The things I do for you," he mutters.

"You love us," she says happily as he walks out the door.

The door opens just a second later but I don't look up from my magazine.

"It's not locked Si," I say in response.

"I'm not your errand boy," Jon says instead. I throw my book down over my lap and notice that Izzy is trying to hide herself under my top blanket.

"Can you knock first!" I yell trying to hide myself under a pillow.

"But I might have a problem if he gets to hang out with you guys while your half naked," he says a little too loud.

"Who's half naked?" I hear from the hallway. Jordan walks in and immediately exits himself from the room. "Sorry! Sorry!" he says keeping himself around the wall.

"What do you want, Jon?" I ask irritated now.

"What the hell is taking so long?" I hear from down the hallway. _Jace_. "Jon-," he says standing in the doorway and stopping himself, facing the other direction awkwardly. he clears his throat and shakes his head for a second. "I would love to be in on this party in here but, we need the radio hookups for downstairs."

I wasn't sure who he was supposed to be asking because he was looking at the back wall awkwardly holding his arms across his chest.

"Well this tension is suffocating," Izzy comments. I glare at her and she sends a fake apologetic smile back to me.

"Clare," Jon says with an eye roll. "Where'd we put the cord hookups after last time?"

"In the garage," I answer.

"Jace," Jon says awkwardly. Jace raises an eyebrow in response. "Can you do the honors of checking the garage?"

Jace turns away quickly and Jon shuts the door again behind him.

"You guys can't be like this forever," Jon says joining me on the bed. Izzy relaxes a little bit and goes back to her last unfinished finger nail. "The four of us are as close to family as any other."

"Family doesn't do what he did," I say a little hurt that he expected me to forgive him.

"I know Clare," he keeps going, "I'm angry too, but I don't wanna lose my best friend. It might help if you guys talk about it, get passed it maybe. I know he can never undo it, but we could try?" I wait a second before I decide.

"Fair enough," I decide and he looks happier.

"Awesome," he says going for the door handle. "Well you guys get ready, party starts in a few."

Walking down the stairs and into the crowd of people was like walking into a runway show. The eyes all fell on Izzy and I until we were completely down the stairs. Her platinum white, skin tight, short, lacy number got some whistles - until they saw me - then the room went into silence and wide eyes of appreciation. Skin tight leather pants and a bright green lacy crop top that barely covered my boobs. I have a bright red belly button ring in and black stilettos with my hair curled to perfection. Izzy did our makeup to look as intoxicating as she could. Let's just say that there were more than a few pairs of pants being adjusted.

"Modest, Clare," Jon said taking my hand and leading me into the kitchen for drinks.

"Now Jon," I say leaning forward on the counter just slightly. "When have I ever been "modest"?" he laughs a little and pushes three sets of shots in front of us.

The liquid goes down rough at first, ending in a close tie between us but it was still warm and familiar.

 _"I'll dedicate this song to Clary,"_ I heard from the karaoke speakers. It definitely got our attention and we pushed through to see who was the admirer.

"Jordan?" I ask accepting the hand that he offered me to join him on stage.

"I'm drunk enough for this," he says earning himself giggles from the crowd. He lets me sit on the bar stool meant for the singer and the music begins.

 _I ain't heard you laugh like that in a long time_

 _I wonder if you stopped his world like you did mine just now_  
 _I see you sippin' white wine instead of whiskey_  
 _And does he want you to be just a little more city?_

It's a song I've heard before but never related too until now. I've never even noticed how beautiful his voice was until now.

He gets down on his knees in front of me and sings the next verse.

 _Well, I'm sorry if I'm overstepping boundaries_  
 _I don't mean to be, but I've just got to tell you how I feel_

I hear the screams of other girls behind us but I force myself to ignore the glare being sent to us by Jace, even Jon doesn't look to pleased.

 _If he ever singles you up, if he's ever stupid enough_ _  
 _I'ma be the first one calling you baby (baby)_  
 _If he ain't holding you tight, if he ain't treating you right_  
 _I'ma be the first one calling him crazy (crazy)_  
 _'Cause girl, it's just a matter of time until you find_  
 _That the right guy's staring you back into your eyes, right now_  
 _No rush, but if he ever singles you up__

He's jumping around and dancing around me, occasionally playing with my hair or twirling me on the stool. This makes my heart melt and I can't even remember why I've been so disappointing this week.

 _He hasn't even looked your way since you walked in_  
 _But I can't help it that I can't take my eyes off of you_

 _Your favorite song just came on and me and you were singing along_  
 _And he don't even know a single word_

He looks right at Jace and I can see him tense. I don't think anyone has noticed him since Jordan started singing to me but it's obvious how pissed he looks. Jordan sends him a wink as he sings the last verse.

 _If he ever singles you up, if he's ever stupid enough_  
 _I'ma be the first one calling you baby (baby)_  
 _If he ain't holding you tight, if he ain't treating you right_  
 _I'ma be the first one calling him crazy (crazy)_  
 _'Cause girl, it's just a matter of time until you find_  
 _That the right guy's staring you back into your eyes, right now_  
 _No rush, but if he ever singles you up_  
 _If he ever singles you up_ _  
 _I'ma be the first to call baby__

And that is how the night started.


	8. Chapter 8

**I really wanted to get through this chapter before I took all of my finals this weekend. I spent a lot of time on this chapter so I hope you all enjoy it. The drama is going to start clearing up but it is nowhere near done yet. Enjoy a chapter with a less crappy ending, and a little Clace. You guys are about to see a lot of Sizzy and Malec coming up next chapter maybe, I am having a little fun writing this one.**

 **My other story, Daggered Hearts, is not completed yet! A few people have asked me if I am done with it yet, and NO, I am not. I am taking a short break from it because I don't know what I want to do with it yet.**

 **The characters belong to Cassie Clare, but enjoy the story line by me**

Chapter 8 - Clary POV

I lost count of my drink number after 5 but I think I'm still fine. I've been dancing with Izzy for an hour to different people sing on the karaoke and some from the radio. Everyone is so drunk by now no one really cares what's being played.

I look to my right and see a barbie girl grinding mercilessly on Jon, but he doesn't seem to mind by any means. He looks at me and I mouth the word "sucker" to him and he flips me off from behind his back.

"Iz, I'm gonna take a break," I yell through the music. "It's hard to focus on anything besides my brother getting turned on five feet away."

"Okay," she shouts back.

I worm my way back through the crowd and find Simon. We always hang out at these things. I take his arm and lead him through the kitchen to the back door. He shuts the door behind us and we take our spots on the swinging chair. He wraps an arm around my shoulders and he lead me to the staircase. We take a seat and take a short minute break.

"You sure know how to work those jeans," I hear from behind me. I lean back on the steps and see Jordan standing behind me.

"I loved the song," I said smiling appreciatively at his face. "But what happened to Maia?"

"We took a break I guess," he said taking a seat next to me. Simon scooted over so we could cram on the steps. He handed me a new red solo cup that I took a drink of. "It wasn't what you think though, Jon asked me to do that for you."

"He what?" I asked almost dropping my cup.

"He made it clear that I wasn't allowed to touch," he said with a wild smile on his face. "Only that you could use a laugh right now; and I would do anything to knock Jace off his game for a second." I stared at him blankly before my brain caught up with me.

"You and brother-," I tried to manage but it didn't make any sense to me.

"Yeah," he said taking a quick drink from my cup. "You coming to the game on Friday?" I shrugged my shoulders. "Don't come for Jace then, come for me."

Simon made a noise that sounded like a muffled laugh.

"I've been going to Jace and Jon's games for as long as I can remember," I said honestly. "But I could add you to the list."

He gave me a bright smile and left a kiss on my cheek. It would have been weird but it was a kiss from a friend.

"It would be great knowing someone is in the stands for me on our first game," he started, "Maia won't go now because she needs more space." The look in his eyes was painful to look at so I gave him a quick hug. "But you're cool, Clary. So, it would be an honor for my name to be on the back of a shirt again."

"It's a plan," I said.

He tapped my knee a couple of times before rejoining the party. "He's so drunk," Simon said and I could only laugh in return.

"We're all pretty drunk," I said holding up my new glass of whatever.

We sat in silence for a while before he pulled me into his side noticing that I wasn't in the party mood anymore. "Wanna talk about it ClareBear?"

"It's just-," I started, "I've had my tie die cut up tee shirt with "Jace and Jon" on the back for the last 3 years. It wouldn't feel right to not be there for them, even with everything going on."

My eyes locked with Jace's from across the room. He's talking to Jon about something but he doesn't look thrilled.

"You know Si, I think I just need a minute." He understood and gave my back a pat before leaving me to myself.

I still held Jace's gaze and I noticed that he looked at me with something foreign, pain? almost? desire? Desperation? I waived him over to me and took an extra-long drink from my cup. By the time I swallowed down the burning liquid he was sitting right next to me.

"I am very sure that I am not drunk enough for whatever it is you want to say to me," I said before he could say anything. "But get it out there please, because I need us to move passed this so we can go back to normal."

"I don't want normal," he blurted out and then immediately cursed himself for not thinking before he spoke.

"You don't want normal?" I repeated. His eyes are burning through me but I force myself to keep straight.

"I might not be drunk enough for this either, but," he said running a hand through his hair. "I want the Clary that threw mud in my hair in the summertime - the Clary that laughed at my lame jokes before I was old enough to know they were lame. I want the us that would get in trouble for random shit and see that face you would make after that like you were too determined to ever stop being a troublemaker." He paused and took a deep breath. "I want the Clary that could be looking hot as hell and still manage to pull off a painting smoke and crazy hair. I want the you who could make me speechless for the first time and make my head turn faster than I've ever before."

"I-," I tried to manage.

"Just let me finish," he said rushed and halfway out of breath. He looked me right in the eyes and kept going. "I could find those qualities in a hundred different girls, if I was lucky. But I want the girl that never gave up on me - came to every football game, with that tee shirt with my name on it - with those eyes that shined like stars cheering me on." His voice caught but there was no change in his eyes, they still stared at me like molten gold. "I'm not saying that I'm ready for a real relationship or that we'll be perfect for that matter. But I want you, if you'll have think about it, kay?"

I've thought about it, and thought about it, and thought about it. Fuck. It's the only thing I have thought about since that night. He had the most romantic and heartwarming speech ready for me and I sat there like a deer in fucking headlights. _Way to go Clary_. He was just staring at me and do you wanna know what intelligent shit came out of my mouth? _OKAY_. I said, _OKAY_ to Jace Herondale after he basically proclaimed his love for me.

I throw my head back on my pillows and hold my notepad above my head.

 **PROS AND CONS OF SAYING YES TO JACE** is written at the top with a line dividing the page into two horizontal halves.

 **PROS**

 **CONS**

\- It'll more than likely end badly

\- He'll more than likely break my heart again

I feel like a god damn twelve-year-old girl right now; but for some lame reason, I can't for the life of me, think of any legit PROS right now.

\- He's hot

\- And sexy...

\- He turns my insides into a bowl of mashed potatoes when he looks at me

OMG. _He's hot, and sexy_. Fucking face palm, what am I, a ten-year-old boy now? Scratch those first two.

I grunt in frustration and force myself to think: Just one real reason that I should be with Jace. My hand writes what my brain doesn't want to admit to myself, and I end up staring at the bullet point like it's written in a foreign language.

\- For whatever god damn reason, he's the love of my life

\- He bared his soul to me that night at Herondale Manor

\- He's what my traitorous body wants

\- WHAT IF I DON'T?

And then it hits me, _what if I don't?_


	9. Chapter 9

**Hello all of my beautiful readers. I have had recent inspiration for this story again! If you haven't seen it yet, go take a look at my newest one shot, In the Moment. It is my newest idea and will be hopefully way different than my current stories. It is currently set for a one shot, if you want the full story then go and check it out and leave a review! Also, Daggered Hearts has been updated and will continue to be updated until the very end, I am not one to completely give up on my stories right in the middle of them.**

 **Kind of a short chapter for me but it was a convenient place to end it for the night.**

 **The characters belong to Cassie Clare, but enjoy the story line by me**

Chapter 9 – Jace POV

 **Jon: You did it right? That entire romantic shit thing you had planned**

 **Me: Yup**

 **Jon: Did you do it wrong?**

 **Me: I didn't do it wrong, man. I've swooned plenty of women in my life to know I did it right.**

 **Jon: I don't need to hear about your numbers while your pining for my sister**

"Jace," I heard Robert say in front of me.

"What," I say sliding my phone under my pocket.

"Dinner is ready," he says with a grin on his face. I stand up but he doesn't get out of my way yet. "No phones at the dinner table, son. I'm sure then you could tell us all about that girl making you blush."

I look in my side mirror and see my cheeks slightly flushed and their tips a little rosy. _Jace Herondale doesn't blush._ I shake my head and rub my hands over my face, maybe he'll think it's not a blush anymore.

Nope, not a chance.

"Or I could go ask Izzy," he says stepping out into the hallway.

"No," I say abruptly. He looks at me with anticipation and close the door behind myself. "It's just nothing official yet."

He nods and I follow him to the dinner table where everyone else is already seated. Izzy doesn't give me much of a welcome but that's nothing new. Alec flips his head up before shoving more spaghetti in his mouth. Maryse looks up to Robert who I have noticed isn't seated yet.

"So, Jace," he says a little to mischievously. He doesn't wait for me to acknowledge him before continuing. "I noticed that you said, _it's just nothing official_ , since when do you do 'anything official'?"

Izzy choked on her noodles and my fork fell from my fingers. I sat there frozen and looked at Izzy who looked like she was about ready to laugh or pass out or both.

"Well-," I said trying to sound casual and failing miserably. "It's new and-." With every word I spoke it seemed like he was believing me less and less.

"He's wrapped around her pinky finger," Izzy said cheerfully. Her words actually surprise me enough to stop me from trying to play this off.

"We can tell," Maryse said with the biggest grin on her face. "What's her name?"

"I-," I tried but I wasn't sure how to get this out without sounding like a complete and utter girl.

"Well, son," Robert started again. "If she's got you stuttering like this then she's probably the one for you."

"That seems a little fast," I said trying to still play this off. Who the hell am I trying to kid? It's probably written all over my face how this is affecting me.

"Her name?" he asked, but this time looking at Izzy.

"Oh," she said giving me a smirk that she got from the devil himself. "It's Clary."

I put my head down in defeat and tried to hide the instant embarrassment that is flushing through me. Not embarrassment of Clary, but embarrassment of the questions my family are about to bombard me with.

Maryse waived her hands in the air like one of those fangirls that 'just can't even' and Izzy followed seconds later.

"I already have their ship name picked out!" Izzy said making Alec and I make a face of disbelief. "Clace!"

"It sounds nice," Maryse said joining in on the charade.

"She hasn't been here in ages," Robert said trying to act natural. "Any chance you had anything to do with that?"

"No," Iz said jumping in again, even though he asked me. "Her parents are still out of town so she and Jon have been staying in a lot lately."

"How is Jon doing?" Robert asked to no one in particular this time.

"He's been caught up with football, just like Jace," she said playing with another stupid noodle. _I wish I could turn you into a noodle sometimes_. "He's been trying for that football scholarship from UNC, they're planning on coming down for a few of their games."

"How wonderful of him," Maryse said pushing her plate away. "He was just here last week, wasn't he, Jace?"

"Yeah," I replied through a spaghetti filled mouth.

"Their parents have been away an awful long time, we should offer them to stay with us for a while," Robert said giving me that parental 'gatcha' grin. I rolled my eyes but the idea doesn't actually sound so bad.

"I don't know-," I tried to say before Izzy jumped right back in.

"What Jace is trying to say is, the reason they're not together right now is because he fucked up, pretty bad, and she still hasn't accepted his heartfelt apology and wooing techniques."

"I knew that I have always liked that girl," Maryse said grinning herself now. "She's immune to your attitude and arrogance, and you'll actually have to make an effort with her. She's perfect."

"It wasn't my decision to stop seeing her after the first date."

"No but it was your decision to-," Izzy started. She was seriously going to tell them what happened on that first date.

"Iz," I said warningly enough that she laughed at me.

"You do have it bad," Robert teased.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

 **I am hopefully going to get most if not all of my stories updated today! I know I have been gone for over a week but I just moved and got settled in, I have been writing a little bit but didn't have Wi-Fi to post until a couple of days ago. I have also posted a couple of new One-Shot stories that I will continue if you guys review and let me know what you think. Make sure you check out You Don't Know and if you haven't yet, look at In The Moment. They are completely different and totally worth looking at. I will even try and get a chapter of Daggered Hearts out here soon too if I can get it edited.**

 **I will be putting all of the stories that I will be continuing on an update schedule starting this next week hopefully so make sure you go through and let me know which ones you want more of!**

 **The characters belong to Cassie Clare.**

 **Jace POV**

I excused myself to my bedroom but I could tell the conversation wasn't over yet. Robert likes to make fun of Alec and I for not having any serious relationships. It wasn't until he came out as gay that they stopped questioning him all the time. It was his excuse for not bringing home girls to introduce to the parents. I can still hear Robert grilling me after that day. _What's your excuse, Jace?_

I think about it all the time, what is my excuse. Is there something wrong with me?

Then I think about Jon's voice coming through the phone at me that night we had sex at Herondale Manor. _I know you say it's not like that with Clary but I needed to make sure that she didn't end up like all those other girls._

And I still did it, I still made her just like all those other girls.

I don't understand why she can't see that I wanted her to be different, I still want her to be different. I hated the way I felt when Jordan sang to her, that should have been me. It would have been me if I had the balls to go up to her and fix this shit.

I knew that eventually I would have to answer to not only Maryse and Robert, but Jon and Izzy as well.

I remember her parents and the accident that caused their deaths. I know that Clary's aunt still has custody of her and her brother until they turn 18. I also know that she chooses not to live with them in their house. I couldn't even tell you if they even talk every day, last I heard they haven't spoken since the beginning of summer.

I know all of these things about them, all of the details and all of the drama that comes with their lives. She's probably the strongest person I have ever met and she still cried that night.

Me: Clary, please answer me

 **Me: Did you at least like the flowers?**

 **Clary: Maybe**

Thank god she finally answered me. I feel like I've been waiting forever for a response.

 **Me: Maybe?**

 **Clary: Flowers and chocolates are meant for apologies, what are you apologizing for, Jace?**

 **Me: Would it help if I apologized in person?**

 **Clary: Theoretically, yes**

"Jace," I hear from my door followed by two knocks.

"Yeah," I say taking my spot on my bed.

Me: Then I'll be over in an hour

I put my phone down and wiped my hand through my hair.

"You know, Jace," Robert started. "I know we've never had _the talk_ , but I'd like to try something different."

I chose not to say anything because I didn't really have a choice anyways.

"You obviously know that you're a good-looking kid because of all of the female attention that you've gotten the past few years," he started and I can literally feel my ears bleed. "I always thought that when the right girl came around that you would shape up. I was wrong, but that doesn't mean you still can't."

"And you just know that Clary is the right girl?" I asked trying to sound more displeased than I was curious.

"She's been looking at you for a long time, son, and she's never said a word. She's the type of girl that you wait for, or in this case, has waited for you. She's not some dyed blonde with expensive clothes, she's just herself." I know exactly what he means, even if it sounds farfetched, I get it completely. "We knew their parents, back in the day we went to college together. It was hard on everyone, especially Jon. I'm happy that they've managed to keep themselves normal after all of this time. But I think - what I mean is – it's normal to want someone to love, even if they don't love you back, even if it seems impossible. She chose to keep quiet and live all of these years without someone loving her - not like Izzy or Jon, but real love. She chose to wait for you."

"I-," I tried but I ended up sinking my hands into my face. "I have been, for over a year now. I don't even know how it got this messed up. I didn't mean too."

"I think you know what you need to do, son," he finished. "It's been my experience that women don't wait for us to want them back, she'll move on if you don't fix this."

"I know."

"Then why don't you invite her along this weekend, to our trip, Jon can come too so you guys can have some company," he said standing up and laying a hand on my shoulder. "It'll be a good sign if you can all _get along_."

I know what he's implying I just don't think I can do that again right now, maybe not for a while.

I know it hurt her last time and I know how much I hurt her after that, I don't know how much I trust myself.


	11. Chapter 11

Good news, what I have planned for this story so far is great and I can honestly say that you won't be disappointed. I have a lot of different things going on in my head so I hope you all stick with me after this because I am not at all done writing for this fandom! Make sure to go check out my other stories that are out right now because my regular updating for stories starts this WEEKEND, in two days people. So, if you want a story, review it so I can add it to the list. Enjoy! Xoxo

 **Clary POV**

"Izzy," I said trying to throw something cute on before Jace comes over. "What the hell am I going to do!"

"Just hurry! He just left and, OMG, Clare, he has roses – he brushed his hair!" she squealed from the other end of the phone.

"I don't think I can do this right now," I said trying to put on a bra that made my chest look good.

"Yes! You can!" she yelled from the phone again. "This is happening!"

"I feel like I'm gonna be sick," I said looking in the mirror and seeing my disarray of curls and frizz. I ran to my door and yelled as loud as I could, "JON!"

"Izzy, you're going on speaker because I need my hair done," I said placing my phone by my mirror.

"What," he said grunting up the stairs.

"I need you to braid my hair," I said trying to hide the emergency in my voice.

"You don't need me to you look fine to lay around the house," he said rubbing his eyes.

"JON," Izzy yells from the phone. It was enough to snap him out from his tired mood. "JUST DO IT."

Jon complies and stands behind me in front of my mirror. "What's the excitement for on a Thursday night?" he asked twisting pieces of hair together starting with the top.

"Jace," Izzy answered first from the phone. "He just left."

"Oh," is all he said and he started to braid faster. "I didn't realize this was happening so soon."

"Our family camping trip is this weekend," Izzy said like it was obvious. "I overheard my dad tell him to invite the two of you! Which means you need to be ready to say _yes_!" she demanded.

"I don't know-," I tried to tell myself. My body is freeking out right now just by the thought of making things right.

What am I supposed to say? What if I freeze up? What if I just say something stupid and he laughs at me? "What if he doesn't want this anymore?!" I accidently said out loud.

Izzy and Jon stopped arguing for a moment and I could feel Jon looking at me with those gentle eyes. "Clare-," Jon tried to say but I could tell he didn't know exactly what to say right now.

"A boy doesn't bring flowers and brush his hair to break up with someone!" Izzy reprimanded me.

"Iz," Jon said picking up my phone. "She'll call you back tonight," and just like that, he hung up the line.

"What-," I said starting to panic.

"I know," he said putting the last pieces of hair into my French braid. "What it feels like to want someone you don't think you can have," he finishes trying to focus on the braid. "That feeling you get only with them, and then thinking you'll never get that again. But here's the truth," he paused to tie the ends in a pony tail. "There can always be another great love, another first kiss, another first time – if that's what you feel is right then it's not meant to be. Maybe it is meant to be but that's up to you, Clary, you're the one holding all the cards here. But know this, missing a chance because you fear losing it, isn't really love. It can't be. Mom always told me, "unless you give your heart to someone, you'll never know what it's like to live, to change, to be changed." I'm not going to tell you what to do here, but I want you to be sure – when you look him in the eyes, I want you to be sure."

It took a while before his words really hit me. _What it's like to live, to change, to be changed_ , I could almost hear her voice repeating them to me. "Thank you," I said eventually standing up and bear hugging him. When I realized that I was crying I didn't even try to hold it back. "I miss them so much."

"Me too baby girl," he said patting my back.

"If I could trade it all for them, I would," I cried. "The trust fund, the house, the car."

"Me too," he said again. "But there's something else they left for you too," he said taking out an envelope from behind his back. "The instructions in their will were specific." He handed the sealed papers to me and on the front, it was inscribed with my mother's handwriting. _When she has her first love._

"This is the only one the lawyer gave me to keep for you," he said making his way from my room. "But don't feel bad, she left one for me too."

I opened it carefully and slid the paper out.

 _Clary,_

 _If this paper is in your hands then it means that I am gone. I know how much you'll need a mother and how much I will regret not being there for you in this moment. I can't say anything for your brother, but this is a moment where a mother's advice comes in handy, so here it is._

 _We're not strangers to the dark or the broken pieces that we have to pick up by ourselves. I know that you're strong and if this ends south, you'll be okay eventually – but I want you to be okay now. I know Jon wouldn't have given this to you unless he was sure, because my advice is better the first time around._

 _Life is incredible, and if you can imagine it with the perfect someone than it's better than anything. I want you to feel it all, what life is really supposed to feel like, what love is supposed to feel like – even pain if it gets you there in the end. I know you're scared and you're probably thinking that it's not going to work, but even in death I know that's not true. If you're feeling scared right now then it's important enough to fight for._

And yeah, love changes us, in every beautiful way possible. So, here, my baby girl, is my wise advice. Unless you give your heart to someone, you'll never know what it's like to live, to change, to be changed. I want you to have it all, and if that means it happens right now then so be it; and if it's not, then so be that also. So, look them in the eyes – in that moment you'll know for sure.

Mom

I looked up and let my heart sink in every word from the page. I feel prepared, like this is something that I can actually do. I made my list and tried to rationalize this. I know what my heart wants, and I know what I need.

And then my bedroom door rang with two knocks.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

 **This chapter is dedicated to all of the reviewers who have loved this story, especially one in particular. I love writing and I love that you love to read it. I have three other current stories that you should all check out, especially if you love this one.**

 **With my recent inspiration for this story, I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.**

 **Characters belong to Cassie Clare.**

 **Clary POV**

The knocks rang so loud in my ears I almost couldn't hear myself think. I stood up quickly with my mother's note in my left hand. I expected the door to open wide and Jon to announce whoever was here for me.

That was stupid, I am being stupid – I know exactly who is here for me. I took a step to the door and put my right hand do the door with my eyes closed. I could feel Jace on the other side and I wanted nothing more for him to be in here with me. I took a deep breath and trailed my fingers down to the door knob.

"Clary," he said muffled, almost like he was trying to whisper. I put my forehead to the door and I could feel the small vibration in the wood as he spoke. "Jon sent me up here."

My fingers twisted the knob until I heard the click. He didn't push the door or say anything else which was nice because I was trying to keep myself together right now.

I took a step back and did what my mother had asked, I looked him in the eyes. His eyes were enchanting, so full of light I almost lost it right there. I tried to clear my head and focus on myself and what my heart was trying to tell me.

"I wanted to say I'm sorry, again," he said leaning against the closed door. It was funny almost to me, he was against my door, but I didn't feel trapped. In fact, I felt safe.

"I don't want you to apologize again," I said but it came out like a plea. His eyes exploded and I could see the devotion in him. "I don't even want an explanation."

He took a step forward and I forced myself to take one back. I felt my leg hit my bed frame and I knew that I was going to have to control myself with him this close to me. Another step closer to me and I could see him, the real him, the one that I was with that night at Herondale Manor.

"How about a confession?" he asked with a nervous look. It's so weird that he looks nervous right now, I don't think I have ever seen Jace look nervous in his entire life. _Maybe that's because he's never had to do this ever in his life._ I couldn't find the word to say so I nodded. "I wanted to tell you for a while, I think you're beautiful. Not in that friendly joking way or because you're pretty. I think you're entire being is beautiful," he elaborated.

I could feel my heart racing and my brain stop working but it didn't scare me that he affected me like this. It made this feel real.

"I think your talent it beautiful – your small size – your clumsiness – the way you can be yourself – even the way you can make me want to be better. It's all beautiful. And sometimes I hate it, because I don't think I could ever be good enough for you – maybe I will end up screwing up again – but it makes me want to try, harder than I ever have before. When I hurt you and I know that I did, I tried to tell myself that it had to happen. I tried to justify taking away a piece of what made you beautiful."

He looked to his hands like they were dirty and he would never get them clean enough. I wanted to say something so bad, just to remind him how special that night was for me, and I wouldn't change a thing. I decided just to say it before I could change my mind. "I'm not sorry." He looked me dead in the eyes and I could see his eyes swirling in gold, I surprised him. "I would never be sorry about that night. It meant everything to me, Jace."

"Even though I hurt you," he said like the words physically hurt him.

"Because it was you," I clarified. "And it was everything I imagined it would be."

"I've been in love with you since last year," he blurted and then looked taken aback. I don't think he intended for the words to come out like that.

"I've been in love with you since I met you," I said trying to focus my eyes on my jeans. I could feel my face turn red and I didn't want him to see that.

"That's a long time not to say anything," he said lifting my chin so I had to look him in the eyes.

"I was afraid of being disappointed," I said even though it made me feel bad. His expression waivered for a moment and I could see why. He's so close to me. I sat on my bed to give myself a few more inches of space but I didn't expect him to sit on his kneed in front of me.

Now he's even closer.

"I brought you flowers," he said smiling at me. It wasn't one of those 'award winning smiles' or one he uses to get girls, it was just his smile.

"How nice of you," I said trying to compose myself. He looked down for just another moment before squeezing his hands together and shaking them out. I was just about to ask him what was wrong when he took my hand that was placed in my lap.

"I want you, Clary," he said and my breath caught this time. Leave it to Jace to always make me speechless. "I know I have hurt you twice already, and in the same night. I know I am not perfect and I know I don't deserve your kind of beauty. But, if you'll have me, the third time can be a charm." He took something from behind his back that I realized he was hiding in his back pocket. It looked like a ring box but too big for a ring, but it still made my heart stop. "Jon helped me pick this out, because he knows you better than I do. Unfortunately, I couldn't take Izzy because she can't keep a secret, and I wasn't taking Simon." I could tell he was ranting because he was nervous but he caught himself and straightened up. "I wanted to find something that you couldn't buy yourself, which was hard because the two of you are set for life." He ranted again. "I guess what I am trying to ask is." He paused to put his fingers at the opening of the box.

"I know what you're trying to ask," I said finally and his smile grew confidently. "Yes."

He opened the box and the most beautiful antique necklace laid inside. It wasn't diamond, expensive, or even one with a fancy chain. It was a locket and it looked hand made. "It's a Herondale family heirloom. My mother owned it last." I expected to see sadness in his eyes but there wasn't.

"It's perfect."

He put a hand up to my cheek and I closed my eyes. I wanted him to kiss me - I wanted to feel his breath on my neck – I wanted this.

I opened my eyes and saw every ounce of self-control struggling for dominance in his eyes. I found my self confidence and leaned back just a tad, inching my back towards my bed. His fingers twitched to follow me but I could tell he was trying hard to stay put.

We both wanted this.

I touched the top of his hand and trailed my finger down to his fingertips. I could see the struggle in his eyes shatter like glass being dropped on the floor.

I could see his body come to life as he leaned into me. Not to kiss me yet but just to be closer. I kept an inch between us, leaning back until my back was on my bedspread.

He's breathing so heavy and mine might even be faster. I could feel my blood boil as he leaned into my neck to trace his bottom lip across my collar bone. My body ached for him since that first time but this wasn't like the first time. The first time was spontaneous and accidental, this time it's honest and heated like it is meant to happen.

My back arched into him but he held my waist tightly enough to push it back down. When my hips reconnected with my bed he leaned in closer, his entire body coming down to come just an inch above mine. "I can't do this too fast again," he said into my ear. "Not this time."

I almost let myself go right there but he was right, last time we pushed each other to the breaking point. This time we're already there and there's no need to rush.

His body rolls on mine ever so softly and my hands fly to waist. It wasn't then until I noticed that his shirt had ridden up. His muscles tightened for a moment at the contact but his skin became warm and his breath even hotter.

He places a slow kiss to the other side of my collar bone and I my head rolls back. He takes advantage of the access to neck and peppers a few more kisses up to my ear. I feel like I ran a mile but really, it's just Jace turning my body to flames.

When his lips finally connect with mine it feels like I was hit with a star gone supernova. His lips are smooth and perfect on mine and when his tongue traces mine it's exhilarating. My hands push his shirt up and trace every dimple in his sides before he lifts his arms up to slide it off completely. It takes a second before he's back where he was and my hands are back on him.

His skin ignites under me and I can feel it in every kiss he places on me. He places a kiss on my forehead but I take the chance and wrap my hands around his neck. I pull down as hard as I can because I know he's stronger than me and can easily get back up. When I can feel his chest on top of mine I leave a slow kiss on the open skin on his neck. His head leans back but I don't let go.

I trail ever so slow kisses down to his collar bone. I leave a soft kiss before going in for another one, this time harder. I have never left a hicky before to know how hard I have to go so I go all in. His hand that is still on my side tightens intensely and his hold in my blanket becomes fierce. I don't let go until he moans my name.

"Clary-," I barely even heard before my bedroom door was being opened. "Jace! What the hell?!"

I squeeze my eyes shut and try and not think about Jon standing in my room right now.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

 **I think after the last chapter I am just going to keep it rolling. Sorry to make you wait so long for the new chapter but I can't write on the weekends anymore. Enjoy.**

 **The characters belong to Cassie Clare.**

 **Clary POV**

"I don't know what I expected, Iz," I say burying my face in my knees. She's sitting next to me rubbing small circles on my back.

"Was it that bad?" she asked in disbelief.

"He was so angry," I said recalling the fury in my brother's face after he walked in.

"Where are the boys now?" she asked again but time I didn't have an answer for her.

"I have no idea."

"Why don't we just eat some ice cream and watch Netflix tonight," she said coolly. "We'll worry about school in the morning."

"I'd like that."

Jace POV

The next day at school sucked. It started out with a cold shower because Alec used all of the hot water showering with Magnus. I was almost late to school because of waiting on them to leave. And Jon is so angry at me he's practically an ice cube.

As much as I hate having drama with my guys, this time it's stupid. He's always been protective of Clary but so have I. Even when we had the mishap with the night we had sex. That was the best night of my life and it still turned to shit. Even worse, it turned Clary's night to shit.

So basically, he walked in on things going places, and now he thinks he has a right to judge us. Like how many girls has he slept with? I am pretty sure his number rivals my own. There's ever been one rule with us, no fights over girls. And here we are, fighting over the single most important girl in the world to both of us.

I laid low all day, even during lunch. I didn't get to see Clary because Jon made sure he never left her alone, with eyes glaring daggers at me and all. I didn't understand anything in my math class because I was too busy thinking about Clary and how she's doing right now. I tried sending her a text message but it remains unanswered.

I wander outside for football practice because the next game in a week is a big one.

 **Clary POV**

Izzy drove us to her place after school because I didn't feel like being alone with Jon. We sit in her room for hours talking about nothing before Alec announces that he's home and he's hungry.

"It's Friday Night," he declared. "Why can't we do something fun."

"About that," he says sitting on the edge of the bed and laying backwards to he lays in between us. I gave Izzy a questionable look but she shrugged again. He doesn't usually want to hang out with us. "I was hoping to go meet up with someone."

"Someone special?" Izzy questions.

"Maybe," Alec says with a smile on his face. A moment later it was gone and he shook his head. "I don't know, it's complicated."

"How complicated can it really be?" I question this time.

"It's Magnus Bane," he says slowly waiting for our reactions.

Izzy goes full on fangirl bouncing up and down on her bed and I can't help but feel happy for him.

"He's gay?" I asked just to make sure that that's what he didn't mean by _complicated._

"He's full of glitter," Alec says like it was a stupid question to ask in the first place.

"He's very gay," Izzy says clapping again. "And this is very perfect."

"What's perfect?" we hear from the door.

Jace.

"Alec might have a boyfriend by the end of the night," Izzy says excitedly. It took her a moment to notice that he wasn't looking at them, he was looking at me.

"Your brother's looking for you," he says shoving his hands in his pockets. I've known him long enough to know that something is bothering him when he does that.

"He can wait," I say standing up and straightening out my tee shirt.

"He'll kill me," he says raising an eyebrow.

"Okay, this is happening," Izzy says interrupting us.

"What-."

"Alec and I are going out so he can meet up with Magnus," she goes on like we didn't even speak. "I am going to text Jon and tell him that you are with me, and we're going out." I looked at her in astonishment at her sudden elaborate plan. "But the two of you are staying here and working out this shit amongst yourselves."

She all but drags Alec out of the room but stops before the door shuts.

"In Jace's room preferably," she adds with a wink.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

 **Yay! New chapter for this story too! You'll be thrilled to know that I put up a new story last week, Breaking Through. It's a zombie story so go check it out, and all the rest of them. I am trying to update them all but editing takes forever without a beta. If you ever feel like editing for me, hit me up.**

 **I spent a lot of time on this chapter so I hope you enjoy it, wink wink, the stories are rated M for a reason. Don't forget to review, the more reviews the faster I update!**

 **The characters belong to Cassie Clare.**

 **Clary POV**

I couldn't tell how long I slept for until I woke up. It feels like I only slept for a couple hours when in reality, I slept for 13 hours. _Holy shit_.

I picked myself up and put my feet to the floor. I could hear the birds chirping outside and see the sun barely shining through the edges of the curtains. I stretched by back and my arms before standing up to look at myself in the mirror. I noticed the same red hair, freckled face, and green eyes as always but something was different. I looked for a while but I didn't see it until I was about to give up. _I can't stop smiling_ , that's what's different.

Of course, Izzy would leave us alone to 'work through our problems'.

 _"What did my brother need, Jace?" I asked trying to awkwardness a little bit. His jaw was lightly clenched and his arm muscles strained like he was holding himself back or something. He definitely was avoiding eye contact._

 _"I, uh," he said running a hand through his hair. "He didn't. I just said that so everyone else would leave."_

 _I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms. "You didn't have to lie to them to get them to leave."_

 _"Yes, well, what fun would it have been to say, 'I need time with my favorite in the person in world so the rest of you can't be home'," he recited with a grin stretching wide._

 _I couldn't contain the small smile that crept to my own face and the mood lightened up a bit more._

 _He took a step closer to me which made me hyperaware of two things: one, we were completely alone for the rest of the night. Two, we haven't spoken or touched since my brother freaked on us after being in a highly comprising position._

 _I'd love to be in that compromising position again, though._

 _I tried to keep myself composed and my thoughts clear so I could focus on Jace._

 _"I can think of something slightly more fun but it goes against every word your brother threatened me with," he said again, this time taking more than one step closer to me._

 _I felt myself internally shudder at his closeness and the words he was saying._

 _"You're saying I'm worth risking my brother's wrath for?" I asked trying to keep myself cool and the conversation PG._

 _He's close enough now that I can feel his body heat and see his chest rising quicker than normally. Is he nervous or something?_

 _"I'm saying, you're worth everything," he said into my ear._

 _I closed my eyes for a second to compose myself. He clearly had no intentions on keeping our conversation PG._

 _When I opened my eyes he was gone, not completely gone, but he was leaving the room. I followed him from Izzy's room and down the hall to his own. He held the door open for me and closed it when we were both inside. I heard the lock click and his feet shuffle over to sit by me on the bed._

 _"What am I worth exactly?" I asked trying to sound as normal as possible. He looked me dead in the eye for the first time and my insides belly flopped. God, damn, he is so beautiful. His gaze is honest, and intense, and addictive all at the same time. I couldn't take my eyes off of his even if I tried._

 _He leaned in closer. For a moment I thought he was going to kiss me. Please kiss me. My eyes start to flutter shut when I feel his body shift next to mine. He wasn't going to kiss me. Instead, I felt his body hover next to mine, just inches away. I could feel his breath in my hair and the tension in the air. I would do anything to get rid of that tension._

 _He leaned in again, careful not to actually touch me too much. I had to lean back on my elbows to keep supporting myself up._

 _"I'll show you exactly what you are worth to me," he said darkly. I don't think I have ever heard his voice so husky, so sure of itself, ever in my life. It made me just take a moment to think about how much we have gone through to get us to this place. It makes me want to fight for what we have now even more._

 _"Is that a promise?" I ask trying to keep my voice steady. I'm sure he sees right through it but I had to try._

 _He leans over impossibly close making me lean off of my elbows and lay on my back. He has to support himself with one of his arms if he doesn't want to touch me yet. It makes this situation all more incising._

 _"Not so fast, though," he said against my ear in a low and whispered tone. He takes my hand and holds my fingers up to his mouth to trace a few light kisses along my knuckles. He puts my hand above my head to support himself while still holding my hand. "I want to enjoy this time the right way – take our time."_

 _"I just want you," I managed to say between my heavy breathing and his. I could see the desire in his eyes building with every promising second._

 _He plants a teasing kiss along my jaw and I try and pull my hand away so I could get closer to him. It doesn't dawn on me what he's doing until I can't get my hand free from above my head._

 _"I want to go slow this time, Clary," he said planting kisses along my jaw to my ear slowly. "We have all the time in the world tonight."_

 _"Jace-," I tried to manage but it came out raspy and hot. I had to close my eyes or I was about to lose every ounce of control._

 _I felt his hips come down flush with mine and then his lips connecting with my neck. My breath is so uneven right now I can't even function. This is what he does to me, he makes me loose control too fast._

 _"I want you to enjoy every second of this," he says working painfully slowly to the base of my neck and to my shoulder._

 _I can't find any words with his lips on my skin like this so I settle for a pathetic, "mmmhmm."_

 _His smile becomes predatory as he continues his trail back up to my mouth._

 _I can't help the moan that I've been suppressing this entire time when his lips meet mine. He trails his tongue along my lower lip asking for entrance. I mentally smirk to myself and break the kiss before deepening it. His eyes are daring and his own smirk widening._

 _"I can do better things with my tongue anyways," he says mock pouting. I mentally smack myself this time when he places his spare hand at my waist. His lips are back against my collar bone but he doesn't stop there._

 _His fingers find my skin and dangerously slowly trail themselves up to my ribs. He doesn't stop until my shirt is barely covering my boobs._

 _I try and pull at his shirt but he shakes his head. "Please." It was supposed to come out confident but comes out like a breathy moan instead._

 _He circles his hips and takes my free hand to be joined above my head with my other one. It only takes one of his hands to hold both of mine. Just the thought of Jace having full control of my body makes me squirm._

 _His lips are trailing down the outside of my chest until he's low enough that he can grab my shirt with his mouth. I lifted my hips to his for any contact, anything to help with the ache but he simply pushes my hips back to the bed with a moan of his own._

 _"If you do that, it will be over to soon," he says with a slight beg to his tone. I feel myself crumble under his lust filled gaze and nod in return. I'm sure if I tried to talk right now I would sound desperate._

 _My shirt is off before he can reposition his hands leaving me in my bra and bottoms. His eyes sink so far into my skin I can feel them burning into me with every breath he takes._

 _I reach for his shirt and swipe it up over his head, with his help because I'm short and on my back._

 _It only takes a second but it was enough for me to knock him off balance. I fall on top of him before he could stop us from falling._

 _I start my assault to his jaw, then his neck, lower to trace circles on his chest. I can feel every muscle twitch under my lips, every moan he tries to catch, and his fingers that are gripping my waist. I trace slower kisses down the middle of his abs and he throws his head back further into his pillow._

 _I dip one finger into his waistband and draw circles on his skin. It's not until I tug his pants a couple inches lower that I realize how hard he is. OOPS, Karma's a bitch._

 _I kiss lower and lower until my lips reach the hem of his pants and his hand is gripped in my hair. I hesitate for a moment because I don't know if this is something that I really want to do yet. I try not to panic and busy myself with trailing kisses back up to his chest. His breath catches when I get back up._

 _I sit up so I'm straddling his waist so I could move my hair out of my face. Our eyes lock for a moment and I can feel his hands on my back, on my bra clasp. I don't stop him and our eyes remain locked long after it hits the floor. He's seen this much and more of me before but that feels like so long ago now._

 _He noticed my hesitation and used it to swing us back around. His hips are back on top of mine and my hands are back above my head. He plants loving kissing to my lips before dragging them back down to my chest._

 _He continues down until he gets to my breast and he squeezes my hands a little harder so I can't squirm out again._

 _"Jace-," I practically beg._

 _"Clary-," he says switching to the other side._

 _He circles his hips against my own and I can't stop the moan that surpasses my lips._

 _He forgets about holding my hands for a second and slides my pants off. His pants are gone in another second before he's right back on top of me._

 _"Condom," I barely manage to get out between kisses. He doesn't break the kiss but reaches to his night stand and fumbles for a package._

 _He fumbles with the wrapper so I take it and tare it as hard as I could manage._

 _"Is it going to hurt this time?" I ask watching him roll the plastic on to himself._

 _"Hardly," he said positioning himself in between mu thighs._

 _His mouth is back to my breast as his fingers work their way down. I can feel it when he puts the first finger in, but he was right, it doesn't hurt. Two more fingers later and I can barely control myself from squirming, he finally takes his hand away._

 _I wrap myself around him and hold on tight. I close my eyes in preparation but the pain that I felt last time doesn't come._

 _A low and deep growl comes from Jace as he lowers himself lower and lower. I can feel our hips connected and the tightness fade away. I loose all control when he starts moving._

"Clary," I hear from behind me. I tighten the bed sheet around myself and turn back to see Jace waking up. "How did you sleep?"

"Incredibly," I said still smiling like a loon.

"What time is it?" he asks rubbing his eyes and then his hair.

"After 2 pm," I said looking at his bed side alarm clock.

"Shit," he says sitting up so fast he doesn't even take the blanket with him.

"What?" I ask trying not to sound to hurt by his sudden urge to leave.

"I have football practice at 2:30," he says taking out a towel and clothes from his dresser. "Don't leave, please. I'll be back in a couple hours. You can chill with Izzy, feel free to shower, whatever you want, but please wait for me."

"Okay, I guess."


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

 **I know I said in the last update of You Don't Know that other chapters might not be up this weekend, but I had some downtime after all. I need some reviews or I might not be able to update as quickly anymore. It makes my day that a couple of you take a few seconds and tell me if you liked it or not. This one is a filler chapter, the next one is super good so you better review if you want it faster!**

 **I will work on In The Moment right after this one, so maybe it will be up after all! Happy Weekend and enjoy the nice weather while it lasts!**

 **Characters belong to Cassie Clare.**

 **Jace POV**

I threw my hands above my head and looked up at the sun. No one agreed with him, but coach thought we needed to run suicides to help get us in shape before our first game. It surprises the hell out of me that the year isn't that far in yet, I feel like I've been with Clary for months even though its only been a few weeks.

"Again, one-minute rest!" coach yelled again. I looked to Jon who was standing behind me in line wearing a murderous frown on his face.

"So," he said through his breaths. I tried to nod but I was breathing pretty hard. "Clary spent the night with Izzy last night?" I knew he was grilling me so I rolled my eyes and bent over to breathe deeper.

"Yep," I said plainly.

"You don't need to lie to me," he said sounding mildly angry this time. "She was with you, wasn't she?"

I gave a sheepish look and hoped I didn't give too much away.

"You screwed my sister," he said tensing every muscle in his arms. I didn't say anything because it was worse to lie than it was to avoid. He clenched his jaw so I tried not to stare. At least if he hit me right now I'd barely feel it, I can barely breathe let alone fight back.

"Set," coach yelled at us again. I was slightly thankful for the distraction but I'd rather someone dropped unconscious so we could stop. "Go," he demanded as our time started.

The first guy in our line took off, a little unsteady but manageable. Jon readied himself when he was on the final sprint. The second he crossed the line, Jon took off. I took another breath and readied myself just like Jon did.

To say it sucked would be an understatement. I wasn't exactly sure why coach was being so hard on us right now but I'd love to ask him and find out. Something might have happened.

"Tell me straight," Jon said breaking me from my mind wandering. His arms were crossed above his head like mine were but I my brain wasn't fully comprehensive right now. "You slept with her," he said with as straight of face as ever. I wouldn't say I'm scared of him but he is Clary's big brother and my best friend for as long as I can remember.

"I slept with her," I said trying not to make it sound like it was the most memorable night of my life.

He was taking long and deep breaths, almost like he was calming himself down from more than just the running.

"You're not going to hit me?" I said trying to sound casual.

"No, I can't feel my hands," he said sounding like it was obvious. "Or my legs, or my chest." He paused and got himself back on topic. "I really was rooting for y'all to work out. I'm not gonna lie, that night she was hurting, I really wanted to hurt you, like really bad. But I'm not blind either, I know you're into each other. I just need to know that something like that isn't going to happen again. Ever again. I don't think I can pick her back up after that. The only thing that got me through last time was the letter from our mom, I don't have another one of those to toss out there."

"That's why she took me back?" I asked. "Here I thought I was charming and attractive."

"You're a doofus," he said bluntly. "But as long as you're good to her this time, we can make it work."

He extended his hand to me which I took. He slapped my back which made me cough for a second but he only laughed in return.

"I feel like I need an ice bath," Jon said leading us back to the parking lot. We grabbed our bags and said goodbye to a couple of the guys. "You wanna get in one with me?"

"I, uh," I said trying to find some other reason to ditch other than his sisters waiting for me.

"You, uh?" he mocked.

"Clary's waiting for me," I said honestly. He would have known I was lying anyways.

"Of course, she is," he said with raised eyebrows. "We can ice bath at your place then?" he offered.

"Now that, I will take you up on," I said tossing my bag in the back seat of my Jeep Wrangler.

He smiled back and tossed his bag in the passenger seat of his own car.

"I'll follow," he said closing the door behind him.

I don't need to ask him if he has a change of clothes because he has a bag of spare clothes at my house. He comes over a lot on impulse.

I turned the engine over and admired the beautiful sound for a second. I touched the radio screed a few times and called Izzy.

"What, Jace," she said slowly.

"Did you just wake up?" I mocked.

"No," she said defiantly. "Clary woke me up an hour ago."

"Oh," I said. I heard her breathe through the phone. "Do you think you could make Jon and I an ice bath?"

"Ewe, no," she said, I could practically see her eye roll through the phone.

"Pleeeaaaasseee," I dragged out. "We're in a lot of pain and I don't need to be so sore tomorrow."

"Make it yourself," she said defiantly again. I can see the pattern of attitude. The kind of attitude I can only break through with bribery.

"I'll buy you both ice cream tonight for helping us," I offered. "With chocolate syrup and nuts."

She didn't hesitate to accept.

"Fine," she said finally. I learned her weakness for ice cream a long time ago.

"Thanks," I said before hanging up. "We'll be home in a little bit, we just left the highschool."

"Kay," she said before hanging up with me.

"I have to admit," Jon said laying his head back in the bath tub. Izzy filled it to the top with ice and it feels incredible right now. "I don't mind being in shape and all, but what's up with coach?"

"I was thinking that earlier," I said back.

"Although, luckily for you, I like his mood swings less than I like the idea of you fucking my sister."

"It's not like that," I tried to explain again. "I'm not leaving her."

He almost looked shocked for a second.

"You're not leaving her?" Jon repeated like it was a foreign question.

"No, I'm not leaving her," I repeated a little more clearly this time. "She's perfect for me, in every way. I didn't see it for a while but when I did, I never changed my mind, not once."

"Don't get all sappy with me," he said. His voice indicated that he was starting to cool down a lot more now. "I only need to know one thing, no details," he said seriously. "You love her?"

I thought about for a moment as his eyes stayed serious.

"I've never known what it's supposed to be like, but I've never felt anything close to what I feel when I'm with her," I answered honestly. "I've never known a chic to keep me on my toes and get to me like she can."

"I didn't need the details," he said wincing a little bit, but I could tell he was happy with my answer. "A simple 'yes' would've been good enough."

 **Clary POV**

It took us a few trips up the stairs with buckets of ice but we managed to fill the bath up pretty easily. Izzy kept reminding me of how many times we've done this for them. I never minded but I know she never loved it.

"They've been in there a while," Izzy said sitting up from the couch to her feet.

"I'm sure they're fine," I said double checking the time. It's been like ten minutes, they should probably get out by now.

"What do you think they're talking about?" She asked with a grin.

"Probably guy stuff," I said trying not to sound too interested.

"Or what you and Jace did last night," she said bluntly. I felt my cheeks heat up and tried to distract myself with my cellphone.

"Or just guy stuff," I said a little softer this time.

"It's written all over your face," she said pointing to me. "It's probably all over Jace's too."

"We could talk about anything, Izzy, and you choose this?" I ask trying to still sound casual. Every time I think about that I almost lose my mind, it's safer to just try not to think too much on the subject.

"This is the only thing that interests me right now," she said with a grin. _Of course, it is_ , I wanted to say. "Was it as good as you hoped it would be?"

"It wasn't our first time," I answered trying to avoid answering it at all.

"It was the first time since your date though," she said. "And that didn't end like you wanted it too."

"So?" I tried to avoid again.

"So, did this time end like you wanted it too?" She asked with an eyebrow raised all accusingly at me.

"Yes, Izzy," I said trying to cover up being a little flustered right now.

She laughed at me until she couldn't hold herself up.

"It's just sex, hun." She said between a fit of laughter. "I'll tell you about the time I did it with Jon if you think it would be fair."

"No," I said trying to forget that subject too. "I really don't need that."

"M'kay," she said yelling up the stairs to the boys.

Five minutes later, they came down with fresh clothes on. Jace gave me a peck on the cheek and wink before taking a spot on the couch. Jon just looked happy and gave my other cheek a peck before joining him.

"What are we doing tonight?" Jon asked.

"You're gonna give us back the couch," Izzy said stubbornly.

I stood in front of Jace with my arms crossed trying to be cute. He pulled me on his lap and I felt how cold his arms were. After I squealed hardcore and fell off of the couch, I gave him a look and started laughing.

"So," Jace asked this time with daring eyes. "What will it be?"


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

 **I really am sorry for my unplanned haitus this summer. I know you guys love this story as much as I do, but this was the last chapter that I had planned for this story. Which means this is the end. You won't be left disappointed, I promise. Don't forget that I have other stories going right now too and will probably be starting a few others after this one. Shoot me any ideas or questions!**

 **Characters belong to Cassie Clare.**

 **Clary's POV**

Thanksgiving break came way too fast. I wasn't really keeping track of the days of school that seemed to fly by in a blur of random homework assignments and fruitless attempts of cutting class. Jon always insists that I go to school.

I used to think he only cared because if we didn't graduate high school, then we wouldn't get our trust funds. They're set up that we can't inherit anything until we both graduate. We're graduating this May, to say Jon and I are more than excited than normal would be an understatement. He never told me how much was in each of them, or anything else for that matter, just that we were both set for college and nice place. To Jon, a nice place could mean a rabbit hole, so really that didn't tell me a whole lot. But, I know our parents always wanted us to be set in case something happened to them.

I know it's been forever, but I still think about them all the time. They weren't around a bunch but the money they made was good, and they were doing what they loved.

He was happy when my report card came in, showing that my grades haven't budged just because I spend a lot of time with Jace or Izzy. Practically every weekend, according to Jon. I can't say that I study a ton, but it's not all that hard either.

Jon said that he wanted to cook for Thanksgiving this year, which meant that I was cooking for Thanksgiving this year. Everyone decided to come, mostly because the alternative was cooking for themselves and that would be just terrible. I say that with an exaggerated eye roll because cooking isn't a top-rated activity for this group.

We decided anyways because of how much the Lightwoods have done for us. They have always done a lot for us, but it's been a lot more since we spend _all_ of our free time there now.

I automatically told Simon he was helping with the feast, there's no way in hell that Izzy is stepping in this kitchen today. I don't think Rachel Ray herself could help that girl.

Which leads me to right now. Watching Simon put his hand up the dead turkey's _unmentionables_ with the homemade stuffing we put together. He keeps gagging and swearing at me but I can't help but videotape it.

By 2 pm, our kitchen is stacked with just about every single dish we could think of.

 **Me: If y'all don't show up in ten minutes I'm eating all of this food by myself**

 **Jonathon: YOU WOULDN'T DARE**

 **Me: BET ME**

 **Simon: I'd pay to see you try**

 **Jordan: DON'T BET HER, I want some**

 **Jace: SAVE ME SOME**

 **Me: Get your ass over here and make me**

 **Izzy: WHOA – T. M. I.**

 **Jonathon: Please no innuendos in the group chat**

 **Maia: Jordan's pooping, make that 15 minutes**

 **Jordan: MAIA**

 **Izzy: It takes you 15 minutes to poop?!**

 **Jonathon: It doesn't take you 15 minutes?**

 **Me: It takes Jace 15 minutes sometimes**

 **Jace: …**

 **Simon: I don't have that large of a problem**

 **Izzy: Alec does**

 ** _Multi fits of laughter_**

 **Alec: I. Hate. You. All.**

 **Magnus: I love compliments :)**

 **Me: CLOCK IS TICKING**

 **Jonathon: Shit**

 **Jace: We're coming, okay**

 **Magnus: We're coming first**

 **Izzy: I bet you are**

I was right in the middle of laughing on the floor with Simon when the front door opened slowly to Maryse and Robert. I composed myself but Simon was still in a compromising position on the floor when I greeted them at the floor.

Robert pointed to Simon as if to ask, _what happened?_

"You really don't want to know," I said. Thankfully, it was all of the explanation they needed. "I just need help setting the table," I said offering them the table cloth. "Simon," I whisper yelled. "Get up and help me!"

He let out strangled giggles for a second before slowly composing himself and getting out the placemats and random silverware.

True to their word, everyone was here in the 10 minutes I allotted them. Maia and Jordan were only two minutes late, Maia wearing a wide smile and Jordan looking horrifically embarrassed.

"You'll sing to me in front of an entire crowd, but you get embarrassed when people know you're pooping?" I asked trying to lighten up his mood.

"I was tipsy," he said shrugging. "And my voice is beautiful. My ass isn't as beautiful as my face."

"That's unfortunate," Jace says wrapping an arm around me. "My ass is stunningly perfect."

Jordan let out a short laugh followed by Maia and a couple others that were listening to our conversation. I mentally face palmed myself and returned to helping Simon set the table.

"Is it done yet?" Izzy said coming in dramatically.

"Almost," Maryse answered fixing the last of the silverware with napkins.

"Whoa Mrs. L, ya'll went all in here," Jordan said examining the giant-sized table covered in food I spent all day making.

She sent me a 'thank you' wink which made me smile.

 _She's the mom I aspire to be one day._

* * *

"I think there's one more thing," Robert said after the table was cleared. He wiped his hands with the final napkin and stood up all formal like. "Son," he said patting Jace on the back.

Jace stood up this time, looking just as good in his jeans and button-down shirt and loose fitted tie. He smiled brightly, a moment in time I should get a picture of to prove actually happened.

"I just wanted to let you all know, that we love you," he said smiling down to all of our friends. When his eyes got to me, they froze.

"I've been keeping something from you," he said a little tired this time. "I disappear sometimes to be alone, not so often anymore, but I will be 18 soon – which means I might be leaving here."

There was a couple of gasps but nothing too major.

"My biological family, the Herondales, own a manor house just outside the city," he said finally. "It's mine right after we graduate. According to my grandmother in London, my father argued to pass it on directly, but my mother wanted me to graduate first."

He was rambling now.

"Anyways," he said looking at me again. "I wanted to make sure that one person got the recognition from me that she deserves."

I think my heart just skipped a beat but he kept talking.

"Clary was the only person in the world that knew about my family inheritance," he said looking more worried now than before. "And she loves me with or without it," he said finally with a smile. He walked around the table and stopped right in front of. He took out a jewelry box and bent down to be eye level with me.

It felt like hours but really, I was focusing that hard on what was in front of me. He took a silver chain with a bulky ring attached to it. It took me a few moments before I realized it was the Herondale family ring he never takes off.

"I think the most important person in my life should have the honor of bearing my most prized possession," he said with finality.

I thought I was going to faint. Is that normal?

I managed to nod and he wrapped the chain around my neck and placed the ring at my chest.

Jon looked so happy I thought he was going to come out of his chair. Izzy and Maia were blubbering like babies but even the guys looked happy with Jace's revelation.

"I love you," he said with finality again.

I jumped up and bear hugged him with every ounce of arm muscle I could manage.

Everyone was clapping but I only felt Jace in my arms.

"Look me in the eyes and tell me I'm not dreaming," I said finally when I was able to function properly again.

He looked me dead in the eyes and lifted me in the air.

"You're it for me," he said confidently.


End file.
